My ex from hell, and I’m sure he thinks of me in the same way. But I’ll make sure I won’t be going to hell.
We all have that one or more exes that still make our blood boil.
But not all exes deserve to be condemned to hell, which is why this story of a woman who forgave the man who broke her heart sixty years ago makes me wonder, how to forgive your ex and get back together, especially with the one who broke your heart.
It happened to Ed and Priscilla, both widowed and after sixty years finally said,
But the road wasn’t easy for the couple who gave their love a second chance, and before we get to what happened, let me share with you, the 10 stages of getting back together with your ex.
. . .
The 10 stages of getting back together with your ex.
It is easy to romanticize what could have been, I think that quite a lot of us still think of our exes, for better or worse.
And yet according to a study, close to 50% of couples do get back together after a breakup.
It can be tricky and messy when you reunite with an ex. Ask yourself a million times if this is what you want even before you take the necessary steps to win back an ex.
It is Ok to be sad after a breakup.
It is an all-consuming and overwhelming feeling to accept that someone who used to be there is no longer there and the worse part of it is in knowing they found someone else to love. But it is not enough reason to go running back to your ex, all because what you are feeling is part of the process of moving forward.
Anyone who has dated knows already that breaking up and getting back is common especially when you are young. And sometimes the breakup was a bad decision that was born out of frustration or anger.
If there is still love one should never let their ego get in the way, and take the necessary steps to fix the relationship or salvage what is left of it.
. . .
There are steps one needs to understand to even think that getting back together is a wise decision. Ask yourself, what were the reasons behind the breakup?
Try to remember the issues that caused the breakup, identify and think hard if they can be fixed by addressing each one of them.
Once you have recognized the reasons, it is time to talk to your ex. If you are the one with issues, you can explain what has changed since the breakup and break down the reasons why you would want to give the relationship a second chance.
The next step is to take things slow. Never rush into making any decision. Every decision has to be mutual. Respect each other’s opinions and allow both of you to be comfortable moving back together.
Slowly spend time together. It is the only way for you to get used to the idea of being around each other, and only by being together would you know if getting back together is the right decision.
This is non-negotiable — set some boundaries. Being back together means trying to avoid the same mistakes of the past. Be honest with your expectations and talk about your expectations if there are any in the relationship.
This will help both of you to decide what kind of relationship the two of you will have moving forward. This is the time to lay out everything, with no secrets, and surprises.
Otherwise, you will likely repeat what happened in the past.
. . .
Remember it was hard the last time you two broke up, by now you both should realize that love is and will never be easy.
And while both of you are ready to let go of the pain and give the relationship another chance, be ready for what is to come as it can be a challenging journey.
The ten stages to getting back together that you should be aware of.
- Reflection and Self-Improvement
It is important to reflect on what went wrong. Take some time to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship, your role in the breakup, and the changes you can make to improve yourself. Take care of yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy and help you grow as an individual. - Reaching Out and Communication
One has to do it, and it has to be the one who wants to reconcile. Be open by initiating the communication, and start by reaching out. Be real and honest about how you feel. Apologize if needed, and start listening to what your ex has to say about their concerns. - Building Trust After breaking up
Trust is the one thing you need to rebuild. It is natural to be the first casualty of a breakup. Both got hurt. It will take time and a lot of effort. So, be consistent and show a lot of patience in your action. Be honest, and open up by being transparent. Show you’re 100% committed to making it work. - Taking it Slow
Never rush, remember good things come at their perfect time. And when you are rushing into getting back with each other, it only creates unnecessary pressure on both of you and could lead to another breakup. Take things slowly. Focus on rebuilding an even stronger foundation for the relationship. Be friends first, before jumping to the next level. - Working Through Issues
By now you should know that no relationship is perfect. Working through issues is part of identifying any problems or concerns. Andy by working together in finding solutions strengthens the partnership. Be honest, open, and willing to compromise. - Forgiveness and Letting Go
If you are not ready to forgive, you must let go of the idea of getting back together. Are there still grudges or resentments hanging in your heart? Holding on to them can be toxic, and that will hurt your relationship as you move forward. So, if you’re not ready to forgive then you are not ready to get back together, Letting go of past hurts can do the relationship a lot of good. Focus on what is here and now. - Reestablishing Intimacy
Take it easy. As much as you want it to happen right away, take it slow. Start with sharing affectionate gestures like holding hands and cuddling. Be patient if you feel any resistance from your ex. Communicating as rekindling intimacy is a crucial step in giving your relationship its second wind. - Redefining Your Relationship
Moving forward means new expectations and boundaries. Redefining what you want or need from your ex could make the relationship stronger. Again, communication is key — discuss your goals in the future, the non-negotiable values, and set up boundaries. Honesty will come a long way and remember to look for the middle ground and be ready to compromise when needed. - Maintaining the Relationship
It will be a lot of work. Reconciling is just the beginning of a new journey together. Your job is to do your part in maintaining a healthy relationship by communicating and prioritizing the relationship. It is also best to work on yourself. Self-improvement can make you a better partner in the relationship. And if there are still issues unresolved, seek the help of a professional, a therapist, or a counselor. And remember to always have fun and enjoy each other’s company. - Moving Forward Together
Wow! You did it. Congratulations! It is a difficult decision to break up but far more difficult to get back together. Moving forward together can be a difficult and emotional journey. But with a lot of patience, commitment, and the willingness to listen to each other, and change if necessary it is possible to have a relationship with your ex, and this time it can be a much stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
. . .
Priscilla Matheny
Would you ever get back with an ex who broke your heart when you were young? Well, Priscilla did and she did it after sixty long years.
She got engaged but the guy had a change of heart, and her heart got broken that was sixty years ago.
They both got married and had kids and grandchildren. Both their spouses died.
It all started when they first met at church. But Ed the guy who broke her heart was pursuing his studies, and soon after they started dating they got engaged.
But the long-distance relationship was too hard for Ed to maintain, you can imagine in those days when there was no Internet. Add to the rigors of pursuing his dream to finish college, he decided to call off the engagement.
Priscilla was devastated as she said in the interview,
She never spoke to him again.
. . .
Ed Sneckenberger
In 2021, Ed lost his wife. As he grieved, he longed for his first love. His sisters told him to look for Priscilla — apologize to her they said.
As fate would have it, it was a difficult journey. He didn’t know her married name but found a way through their church. And soon after, he sent her a friend request.
Priscilla would have none of it. She ignored him.
But Ed was on a mission, and he asked for help from his church. The only way for Priscilla to finally tell him to stop was to see him, to her probably it was for the last time.
They met at the Panera Bread in Hagerstown right before Easter.
But it wasn’t the last time she would see Ed.
. . .
I do.
. . .
Final words
Ed and Priscilla got married in December 2022, in the same church where they planned to get married the first time around some sixty years ago.
I can only wish for the best for Ed and Priscilla.
It wasn’t meant sixty years ago, but today, the timing is perfect.
As for all of us who are hopelessly romantic, don’t let this story fool you into calling your ex, at most it is creepy, maybe wait for sixty years before you call as not all exes are made in heaven just like Ed and Priscilla.
And do read the 10 stages of rekindling your relationship with an ex before making that call.
Thank you for reading.
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This post was previously published on body-mind-soul.
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