There was one fairly common activity we did with our dad growing up, and that was candlepin bowling.
For those that grew up outside the northeast, this will be an odd conjoining of terms. What do candle, pin, and bowling have in common? Not much, but it is the name of a form of bowling where the equipment is essentially shrunk in scale. This game was one of the constants in my father’s agreed to universe of visitation with my brother and I.
The activities seemed to alternate between bowling and visiting my grandparents—with an occasional ball game thrown in. Not the most thrilling thing for a not quite tween and his younger sibling, but we did actually get to see the old man, which I understand is more than many from a divorced household.
Is this a rail against? No, not all. It’s more a call to arms for me and all men. For me, my wife and my daughter, in the early years, that became day trips to museums, made up games in the backyard, trips to the playground, soccer practice, froyo shop trips, lunch at different restaurants or, a simple walk around the block—not everything requires an admission fee, just a little gumption.
Could I have done more? I suppose so, but that’s something parents struggle with internally. Understanding my child’s temperament was one of the keys to figuring out activities. This was no easy process it was a ton of trial and error. Sometimes we did a bit too much and she became irritable, agitated, or withdrawn. We didn’t always get it right but, with experiments and experience we managed and learned in the process what worked for her and us.
For all of us, we should use every faculty and resource at our disposal. To do anything less is a disservice to our family and child. Tap into your creativity, even if we think that’s a gene we don’t have.
This might mean a hike in the woods, playing ball, a trip to the town pond, community pool, kid’s day at work, or weekday picnic lunches with mom and dad. And if that’s not enough, in this day of so many things at our fingertips there are dad groups, parent meetups, internet searches, Youtube, books, and other resources that can compliment or, completely supplant your own efforts.
You just might find something you and your child enjoy.
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Photo: Getty Images
This was in response to one of our many Call for Submissions posts that we run every day on The Good Men Project.
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