My husband said to me the other day, “What if we are quarantined forever?”
“Well, that’d be hell,” I said. Then I quickly added, “This is only temporary. This is not going to last forever.”
And then I thought, Do I want this to end? It’s not ALL bad…
You might think I’ve been in quarantine too long, but hear me out.
Let me also provide some caveats. For many people, quarantine has felt unbearable. They may be alone, separate from their family, or quarantined in a toxic situation. It may have triggered their PTSD or heightened other issues with mental illness. Quarantine can feel like suffering, and that is real and understandable.
I have to recognize that I’m writing this from a place of privilege. I’m quarantined with my family, which is healthy and comforting for me, and my mental health issues are in check. My husband and I are also lucky financially. His job was already remote. Mine transitioned to remote with no loss of income. We continue to be a double-earner household, and that’s not the case for many homes today.
Here are some of the reasons why I’ve enjoyed quarantine more than I thought I would.
I finally have the perfect excuse.
Quarantine can be traumatic, especially for extroverts who rely on and feel refreshed by social interaction. Extroverts need other people; otherwise, they feel lonely and isolated. For the introverted of us, though? The experience isn’t as traumatic. It can feel…pretty liberating.
Obviously, I’m not receiving any social invitations, so I have nothing to turn down, but even if I do venture into public, say the grocery store, I’m to socially distance. Social distancing may feel sad and lonely to an extrovert, but for me, it ceases small talk and gives me time to focus and be quiet.
I do not feel refreshed by a lot of social interaction. I don’t need to chitchat with people when I go to a store, and I’ve never liked to either. I crave silence.
I’ve been a teacher for the last twelve years, a terrible choice for an introvert. Since the pandemic, my job has changed to remote learning through Zoom. Do you know what I can do through Zoom that I certainly couldn’t do before? Hit “mute.” I used to do my job over a near-constant murmur of noise, and I don’t have to deal with that. I find I’m no longer as exhausted when I’m through.
It’s wholesome.
In my free time, I’ve been reading classics, like Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables.
Know what the world used to look like then? A lot like…now. Families spent a lot of time at home together. They ate home-cooked meals together. They rarely traveled, if at all. Their jobs weren’t all that far from their homes.
My family eats all of our meals at home now, sitting around the table. My family and I take walks together every day around our neighborhood. When we do, everyone else is outside too. We keep our distance, but children are playing with toys, riding bikes, and drawing with sidewalk chalk. Neighbors call to each other from their porches. People are running or walking.
It’s like living in another more…wholesome age.
I get so much more time with my family.
Before the pandemic, I commuted to work and/or my children’s PK Monday-Friday. I’d spend at least two and a half hours every day just commuting, and then I’d be at work for eight hours. Awake, I’d see my children for maybe only three hours a day and my husband for about six.
That’s not a lot of time considering it wasn’t often quality time when we may be driving somewhere or dealing with morning/night routines.
Since the pandemic, I get long stretches with my loved ones. We aren’t driving anywhere. I work from home, but my hours are much shorter. I get to kiss my husband more often. My children and I play, color, and take walks.
It can feel like too much time, especially when we’re essentially trapped together, but this time is a gift I likely wouldn’t have had any other way.
It reminds us of what’s important.
A disaster, or anything that potentially threatens your mortality, puts things into perspective. You get to evaluate if your life is what you want it to be and focus on what you do want. You might want to change relationships (rekindle lost ones, become more serious, end it, or reconsider the boundaries) or some other aspect of your life.
I’ve found myself being more intentional on reaching out to my friends I can no longer see in person. I have scheduled “walks” together with some friends where we both take a walk around our neighborhoods while talking to each other on the phone.
A friend of mine and I are listening to the same podcast together and talk about the new episodes. I’ve even reached out to some old friends I’d lost contact with just to see how they’re doing. In an age of separation, our relationships are what’s most important.
This pandemic has also really helped me put in perspective how important spending time with my family is to me. Even when my kids have run in on one of my remote meetings again to update me on how they pooped in the potty, it’s kind of adorable. I’m reminded to be grateful, even when I’m annoyed because this time with them is precious. I get to make some unique memories with them I may not have been able to. That’s truly a gift.
Do I want quarantine to last forever? No.
I’d love to go and do things out, like eat dinner in a restaurant or watch a movie in a theater. My kids miss their friends terribly, and I’d love for them to go back to school, or at least be able to take them to a playground and watch them play with other kids again.
Everything though, even an awful thing, can have its upsides. For me, all of the changes have helped me focus on what I care about the most, and I can be grateful for even those little somethings. I hope you can too.
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Previously published on psiloveyou
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