On April 21, my wife and I celebrated three years of wedded bliss together, but let’s be real — the journey has been a rollercoaster ride.
I wrote this letter to share with my wife an entrepreneur’s perspective on what it’s like to build a business and a marriage at the same time. To the reader, I hope that you can also take something away from this.
The Letter
“Dear Cindy,
I promised to write you more letters and I admit that I’ve failed miserably thus far, so I hope that this one will win some brownie points with you.
When we embarked on this journey together five years ago, when we first started dating, little did I know where we’d end up and how crazy a ride it would be.
The day that I proposed to you, I told you that even though I didn’t have a fancy car, a house, or a lot of money in the bank, I vowed to do everything in my power to give you a good life.
So in this letter, I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned so far about being a great husband whilst also endeavoring to become a great entrepreneur.
Lesson 1: Success is measured in quality time with the people that matter most.
For the longest time, I wrestled with finding a balance between chasing after my entrepreneurial dream and being a great husband. It often felt like those two goals were in opposition to each other.
When I focused too much on the hustle and trying to make my business work, I ended up burnt out and neglecting you.
I was naive enough to think that I could replace the income from my full-time job within one year, and it wasn’t until year three of the business that I actually started paying myself a regular wage.
You never doubted me once and you continued to support me even though that meant putting your own dream on hold whilst I pursued mine. Now it’s my turn to support you in going after your big dream, and I feel that we are definitely headed in the right direction.
2020 has been significant not only because life as we knew it has changed, but also because physical, mental, and spiritual health has become a major focus.
Above all, you’ve reminded me that the time that we have together is limited, so we must make the most of it.
So the question that I ask now before I get into crazy entrepreneur hustle mode is: What’s the point of achieving a dream if the one person that matters most to you isn’t around to share it with you?
Lesson 2: Take responsibility for past mistakes.
I didn’t grow up with strong role models when it came to managing personal finances. In my 20’s, I was making decent money as a team leader and project manager for a Fortune 500 company, but I made poor financial decisions.
The debt I incurred during that time was substantial and I’m still paying it off. It’s something that I brought into our marriage, and I can only imagine that for someone who has been an incredible saver with positive money habits like you that must have been rather frustrating.
I’ve since learned how to become a better saver and to make smarter decisions when it comes to money. I’ve saved more in the past two years than I did in the ten years prior to meeting you. You’ve been instrumental in this transition. Thank you so much.
Lesson 3: Real men practice real talk (and crying).
Throughout our three years of marriage, there have been times when I felt like a complete failure in my business. There have been other times when I’ve had to battle with imposter syndrome, or been challenged by certain relationships.
Throughout my career, I’ve been trained to separate business from personal, but nothing gets past you.
Without me needing to say a word, you’ve been able to pick up on the moments when something’s not right, and you’ve listened lovingly time and time again as I pour my fears, doubts, and frustrations to you.
I know that I’ve sometimes sucked at it, but I’ve really tried my best to be that person for you too. So these are just three of the many lessons that I’ve learned over the past three years of marriage with you.
I want to acknowledge you for being my angel, and for gifting me with your love, presence, and guidance every single day. I’m extremely grateful that we’ve come this far and I look forward to making the most of the time that we have left together.
Love,
Your Husband”
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Photo Credit: @alvaroserrano on Unsplash