I haven’t met you yet, but I know we’ll have fiery sex, mutual respect, and a lot of laughter. And I love that about us.
I’m here, dating your peers and weary of wasting my time with them. I miss you even as I haven’t met you yet.
You’re tall or short, bald or hairy, thin or barrel chested, or somewhere in the middle. Your hand seeks mine. Your eyes crinkle when you laugh and they look straight into mine, unafraid of being seen. Or maybe afraid and going for it anyway.
We talk for hours without pause, laughing about nonsense and sharing stories of our lives. We’re quiet together, maybe reading or drawing or just being.
You understand women as well as I understand men – we don’t! We are different creatures and we respect that. We like that. We find delight in that.
We consider how each other feels in a situation and choose the others comfort over our own. I love that about us.
We give each other the subtle eyebrow raise when we’re in the company of small-minded people who are joking about Trayvon or Steubenville and, in doing so, we help each other breathe and walk away graciously.
Maybe you like sports and I don’t; you go with your friends and I join you sometimes or not at all. Maybe you like non-fiction and I’m a fiction reader. Maybe you’re into cooking and I’m a disaster in the kitchen; you try vegetarian options for me and I clean up the mess.
We laugh a lot. About silly things and serious things. We can find something to laugh about in almost any situation. And we feel sad, and maybe cry, about horrific things like mass shootings or natural disasters.
We raise my son together. You’re as dedicated to raising him as your own as I am. Maybe you have children already, maybe you don’t. Together we model a loving partnership.
We name violence when we see it in Power Rangers or Star Wars so our child doesn’t get desensitized to violence, so he is aware of what it looks and feels like. And we watch it with him so he feels safe in exploring the excited energy of a light saber battle.
We call it out when a book or movie represents one group as lesser than another without getting all heavy and preachy. We help our child to recognize equality and inequality, to learn compassion by example.
We honor our feelings and articulate what we need. We can laugh in the middle of an argument because one of us burps, and then breathe back into our disagreement and resolve it calmly.
We fight kindly. We don’t shame each other or be mean, we are focused on the true issue – not in tearing each other down. You know I like to win and I know you like to win and we both know that winning is really in coming together, meeting each other where we are.
You don’t just “tolerate” my deep spirituality, you like it. You try meditating and yoga and find it’s not your thing and that’s cool. Or maybe you teach me to go deeper. We’re different human beings; we’re not the same. We learn from each other constantly and are ever growing and evolving together.
We snuggle, we cuddle and we touch each other with gentle and loving touches. We have fiery sex and take care of each other’s needs, which fuels our own desire. It’s a give and take and give of fire and love and heat and laughter.
Money is an open and healthy conversation of how we want to manage ours. I like to save some, spend some, give some. You may or may not agree, and we find a way to compromise that feels comfortable for us both. We love money and the comforts it brings and we know it’s not more important than how we treat each other.
I love how we work to truly understand and see each other and our child. Sometimes it feels hard and sometimes joyful; always there is a foundation of love, respect, laughter and deep connection. I love that about us.
Photo: Flickr/Garry Knight