Arianna Jeret writes what she wants the next man in her life to hear, even if she’s scared to say it in person.
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It may be obvious that dating after you have been married and divorced is just not the same as it was in the years B.C.E. (Before Children & Ex). What is extremely confusing about that difference is how it could be possible to feel so much more confident and so much more insecure at the same time. Not only does it feel more complicated to open your heart to someone new, it can feel equally as hard to be heard. Here is a glimpse into what she wishes you could hear from her inner-most self.
♦◊♦
Before we go any further there are a few things I need you to know about me. I’m worried that you won’t want to hear any of it, but I really do need you to.
I get that women seem irrational and slightly off-kilter and you are probably watching me somewhat closely at first to make sure I am not a fruitcake. The truth is, sometimes I am. I was probably a lot more “sane” and rational in my 20’s, but that doesn’t mean I was actually better. I am at my best and I do believe I am only getting better.
I have been to hell and back and, yes, sometimes I act out like an abused puppy grown into full-blown bitch. I promise you I am not trying to excuse that. Being mean is never OK, and I apologize in advance and will apologize again when it happens. Sometimes I will apologize even when I was justified, and I need to trust you not to take advantage of that.
I know who I am now, and I don’t need anyone else to validate that for me. But I am also scared that who I am and the challenges I do face will send you running for the hills.
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At heart, though, I am still the sweet girl looking for a man who will keep me safe. I don’t need you to take care of me, provide for me, fight my battles for me — any of that. But I do want you to want to do those things, while respecting me enough to know I can do them for myself. Honestly, I would prefer we each do them for each other.
I know who I am now, and I don’t need anyone to validate that for me. But I am also scared that who I am and the challenges I do face will send you running for the hills. My life is not easy and my situation gets complicated. It can be A LOT. Of everything.
As cliched as it sounds though, I am not my situation. Everyone has their own. Please don’t judge mine. Please learn about it. Ask me questions and let me answer before you come to conclusions. Let me be sweet to you and have fun with you. Let me cry freely and break down in your arms when I need to, trusting me enough to know that I am a bad-ass bitch and I’ve got this. I have plenty of crumpled on the floor moments, but I will get up and re-adjust my armor with or without you.
I would just much prefer you let me know I am safe enough to take it all off when you’re around.
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Click here for a man’s perspective: An Open Letter to the Woman I Want
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
“sometimes I act out like an abused puppy grown into full-blown bitch.” “I am a bad-ass bitch and I’ve got this.” Sounds like Arianna took ownership of the word, with pride. She’s a bad ass bitch. I haven’t seen any type of behaviour even remotely like what the typical usage of the bitch is (as in a female jerk), so it kinda sounded quite empowering? She says the abused puppy to full-blown bitch which I presume means she can snap at times due to past abuse which is understandable (not acceptable but understandable). By warning men beforehand it can be… Read more »
I’m 21 and I wish I had ‘this’ level of mature women around me. but as far as I have observed till now, these kind of women are not present in this generation. ” I don’t need you to take care of me, provide for me, fight my battles for me — any of that. But I do want you to want to do those things, while respecting me enough to know I can do them for myself. Honestly, I would prefer we each do them for each other.” the author just nailed it! this is what a woman should… Read more »
Jules
-typo:
not deash but Daesh.
Hi Flyingkal What does Patrick want in woman? He tells that she is : * gorgeous * kind * fun * smart * engaging * He wants to be around her. * He wants her in his life. Flyingkal It is not deep enough. But answer Jules question another way: Imagine I had a magic wand,and could give you the woman and a relationship with her , that you dream of most of all. Or imagine you live in society with arranged marriage where your wishes in bride could be met. What would you look for? (Remember “gorgeous” will mature… Read more »
Silke, What would possibly be “deep enough” for you? Yes, “gorgeous” might mature and age (although as you know, much of that is in the eyes of the beholder), but kind, fun, smart and engaging might very well not. I’ve repeated myself too many times already in this thread, so I don’t really know what more to say. But I think the way he speaks makes perfect sense for talking to someone he met a couple of times, and only began to open up emotionally to. He talks about the first impression, what he has seen about her so far,… Read more »
Correction:
“but kind, fun, smart and engaging might very well not.”
I meant to say that those might very well be life-long qualities
@ FlyingKal, If I might interject….I think what Silke is merely pointing out is that he is describing the WOMAN. He does not describe the RELATIONSHIP he wants with that woman. That is what I was trying to say as well. This is where too many men get caught up the beauty thing with women…….and forget about all else. This is also where emotional health and intelligence come into play. You should know just what it is that you are seeking (expectations) from this woman. You should also know what you are prepared to give (obligations) to her. To me… Read more »
Jules and Flyingkal Jules writes “This is where too many men get caught up the beauty thing with women and forget all else…..” (I wonder if that is one of the many reasons why we end in divorce?). Yes Jules, I agree with you. We have to think relationships and not be so focused on a persons looks and sexual capital. The past will always be with us and be a part of us,but we can choose to live today in a way that we create good memories in the future . At least we can try. And we can… Read more »
@ Silke, “It is a pity that we can not all meet 🙂 Maybe I should rent a summer house one year and invite everyone …” I know. I would love to visit you. Share an espresso…. As for the Syrian “refugees”,..I really think most of these people should go to Saudi Arabia, Kuwait,….These countries have taken none of their “brothers.” None. Also, what really bothers me is that 70%-80% of them are men!!! They are cowards running from their country instead of staying and fighting….But, when you are being welcomed with open arms (and open legs too!), maybe it… Read more »
Jules,I thought we had a higher percentage of Muslims in the country as a whole. But it is hard to find facts because our authority never gather data about your religion, and what in you US call race. In my city, Oslo it is a high chance the next mayor will be muslim man (Sultan). They are in the negotiation phase right now. If he can convince people that he has changed his religious belief and no longer see homosexulaty as a sin, then maybe he will be our mayor. Is Erna the iron lady? Not only do we have… Read more »
Jules, and Silke,
I wrote a very long reply yesterday, but it won’t show up.
I had it saved in Word, but when trying to post it again, I get a message it’s a duplicate! Clever filter, huh?!
Oh well, we’ll see if it turns up
Hi Jules and Silke, Seems I have to try again… And I happened to overwrite the document where I kept the old post. *DOH!* First. I just don’t associate the words “kind, fun, smart and engaging” with (fleeting) beauty. And I also think it speaks volumes about what kind of relationship he wants: Kind=compassionate, fun = positive outlook (and fun), smart = expanding horizons, and engaging = inspirational, etc, etc. Sounds to me like rather a non-stereotypical attractive person that I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with. I’ve also made a decision to take control of my life. “I… Read more »
Hi Flyingkal
Here is a good blog that can help to motivate you to focus on living a better life.
http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/07/how-to-attract-good-luck/?utm_source=%22Barking+Up+The+Wrong+Tree%22+Weekly+Newsletter&utm_campaign=98aa4f6d24-Luck_07_19_2015&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_78d4c08a64-98aa4f6d24-57043541
I need to reduce my time online but I will be back.
Silke,
Thank you, but you shouldn’t believe everything you read on internet.
Basically he’s saying that the unlucky woman in the beginning of the article should actually plan FEWER dates, hence minimizing the risk of her male counterpart having an accident…
Silke, you also asked a previous question: “I know many men here will tell me I am wrong because their experience with women is that the get dumped if they show feelings of weakness. Sometimes I wonder if those episodes happened when the man broke down . like in a near nervous break down? I do not know. But the more you show who you are and are able to be emotionally close to woman,then better you get at being close. It is not easy but women like it .” That assumption only holds true as long as you’re operating… Read more »
Flyingkal
I would believe the story of your life if you told me.
And I am sorry.
I try to have a period of digital detox for the next month.
Take care
I will miss you, Silke.
Take care.
@ FlyingKal, “I could tell you stories about ways I’ve been teased, overlooked, denigrated, ridiculed, and dumped, and you wouldn’t believe half of it!” Yes, the past is always with us. I don’t care what any therapist or self help quack says….it is part of who we are…But, it does not have to be all of us. I am not going to tell you it is easy to let go….I cannot even tell you to let go! .What is important is that we learn some coping skills (outside of porn, drugs, alcohol) that allows us to manage how much of… Read more »
Hi again Jules,
The future is always here. It comes at us in every fraction of a second. We don’t even have to wait until tomorrow 🙂
Yes, it’s good to have coping mechanisms. Trying out this unattachment thingy, which coincidentily is rather alike “not caring” might just work.
Also, it is said that “those who don’t learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.”
A beautiful woman like her has to do no more than wake up and she has dozens of interested men to choose from. Her needs have a good chance to be pursued and met. She can have no idea what it is like to be a “Joe Average” man who can go for months without any hope. Plus he has to face rejection etc.
Joe
The fact that a person i good looking does not tell you anything about how she has been treated in life ,if she had good childhood or is able to trust any of men that try to get her attention.
This is woman that tells that she has been to hell and back .
She will at times behave like an abused puppy.
Maybe that is how she feels all the time.
Beauty attracts lots and lots of men that want to seduce and use ,but not love.
Very well said, Silke. ?
Hi Jules You say ” It is a flaw in us men.We are not relational thinkers”. I think that is because you have focused on developing other skills . Some men are very good at expressing themselves ,for example authors, artists. Because they used time and put in an effort to develop those skills. But women have one area where we also have a flaw,an area where we do not know how to express how we feel and tell with words what is happening with us. It is when desire disappears in marriage or a romantic relationship. I do not… Read more »
@ Silke, Thanks for your thoughtful and insightful reply..(as usual).. “But women have one area where we also have a flaw,an area where we do not know how to express how we feel and tell with words what is happening with us. It is when desire disappears in marriage or a romantic relationship. I do not think it is ill will,,I think it is area without words. And we are unprepared when it happens and I have never heard a woman friend talk about the issue.” Is this something unique to Scandinavian women? Or do you think it is something… Read more »
I should not say Scandinavian women are this way and American women are this way.
The fact is that I do not know if we are similar or different in our ways to relate to men.
But maybe, Norwegian women demand too much of them selves and American women demand too much of men.
I should not be guessing about things like that…..I do not have the facts to make a comparison.
I agree! It was always easier for me to spill my true feelings to other women and gay men. I used to try to connect to my husband emotionally but he was an emotionally defecient male engineer, who believed to his core that he was always right about everything. I may as well have been talking to a wall. When I was still married, I would on rare occasions, have a breakdown of tears and frustration over some of the things he did or said…all I ever needed was to be listened to and hugged. But he could never do… Read more »
How much do I love love love your writing Arianna? So much. As I was reading this post, I was feeling so grateful for your willingness to “start the conversation” with your “future partner” as well as providing permission (and a template) for others to do the same. By the end, it also became an open letter to the reader you want. And that’s me. Keep man-ifesting yo. xxoo
“I get that women seem irrational and slightly off-kilter and you are probably watching me somewhat closely at first to make sure I am not a fruitcake.”
Wow. Is that where we are? I didn’t know mental illness was a foregone conclusion this individual expects her “man” to make about her. Just so many layers of wrong here. This belongs on BroBible not GoodMenProject. I expected more from this site.
Thank you. So much yes.
Thank you, Madeleine. As much as the purpose of these letters was to express something TO someone, they were also intended to express something FOR someone. Knowing this resonated for you is everything.
Arianna, I want to comment you for this very well-articulated letter. We often are better at expressing our inner feelings on paper than through speech. You did a great job. Here are the most poignant lines on this letter (in my view), “I don’t need to you take care of me, provide for me, fight my battles for me — any of that. But I do want you to want to do things.” I think any man who loves his woman is more than willing to fight for her, literally. As he should be. “I know who I am now,… Read more »
Thank you, Jules! You just made my weekend!
I get that writing these open letters can be cathartic or therapeutic, but this seems like one of those situations where it’s also a hindrance. The person(s) who actually NEED to hear these thoughts may never know they exist; the Internet is a big place. On top of that, building up the courage to speak freely weeds out the ones who won’t work so much faster.
Uggg. it really bothers me that as a woman, you are upholding stereotypes about women being crazy (fruitcake) and “b*tches”. I guess you can call yourself a b*tch if you want but you are only making it that much easier for men to use those words and terms against women everyday. Seriously Arianna, as a woman to a woman, this is wrong.
Erin, seriously? A woman expressing herself however she feels about herself should not be edited or controlled by another woman (or man) not feeling the same way. Arianna is not wrong in writing about her inner bad-ass. If she calls it a biache, or a bitch, or badass that’s up to her.
Off Parent: Yes. Yes, seriously. I did not demand that Arinna ‘edit’ herself. I expressed my view point of her using certain words that prove to be problematic stereotypes women get pushed on them. I did not write to her or GMP asking that the article be removed or altered in anyway. So no, I am not trying to control her either. You seem to forget that I am also a woman who is expressing herself and her belief that certain trigger words do more harm to women then good. I am 100% allowed to express that and the fact… Read more »
Erin, you are right.
@ Erin You confuse being moderate with being reasonable. There are some articles that even GMP has come to realize should never have been posted. Articles which they have taken down. Someone calling for those articles to be taken down, would not necessarily be a radical or extremist. On the other hand even a moderate objection could be unwarranted in some cases. Personally, I believe that your objection went past the moderate line. Here’s the thing. She chose those words to describe HERSELF. It’s not a stereotype if she believes it’s true. Just like if I said that I believe… Read more »
“Smart” is a neutral word John. It is neither genderized or a racially charged slur unto itself. Saying your ‘smart’, would be more like Arianna saying she is ‘nurturing’. They might be stereotypes in certain contexts, but they are by no means negative ones and they are, in most contexts, neutral ones. So no, the word ‘smart’ is in no way comparable to the ‘n-word’, ‘b-word,’ ‘f-word’ or the ‘crazy’ stereotype. A woman calling herself a ‘b’ would be like you calling yourself an Asian slur. I have never seen you refer to yourself in an Asian slur. The ‘b-word’… Read more »
@ Erin Arianna, I believe chose to take the high road that doesn’t make you right. I didn’t support Erin change of heart because no one challenged it. Odd how some people believe that she should get to control how she speaks of herself while others believe that it’s wrong for her to speak about herself in certain ways. The thing about positive stereotypes is that they aren’t always positive. Smart very well could sometimes connote cool rationality, no sense of humor, no fun, etc. It’s also something expected. Try to live up to a stereotype even a positive one… Read more »
So John, when Arianna made comments below and said, “You know what, you’re right. And thank you”; she didn’t say that because she actually believed it but only said it because she was ‘taking the high road”? You do realize that perspective suggests that you don’t think Arianna knows her own mind or that she only said that because she didn’t want to discuss the topic. But clearly she *does* want to discuss the topic and was open to what I said. Not because she was ‘taking the high road”, but because she saw merit in my perspective. Again, it… Read more »
Erin,
Major kudos to you, lady!!! I couldn’t agree more. Bless you!!
Hi Erin, I read your comment and those in reply to it and gave them all thought before responding. You know what, you’re right. And thank you. I wrote this letter from a completely raw and transparent place with zero self-editing on purpose, as did Patrick when he wrote his. I want to keep it that way, so I have no regrets about what I said, but you did raise an important issue. What you have pointed out is how thoroughly so many women, myself included, have absorbed those stereotypes you have pointed out. I have had many moments in… Read more »
Arianna – Kudos right back at you for engaging with me in a sincere, honest, thought provoking dialogue. I did like your rawness and vulnerability and your willingness to be transparent. I liked that you were inspired by Patrick’s piece. What is interesting about your piece compared to Patrick’s is that he admits to his vulnerability but he does not call himself names or put himself down for it. You totally deserve the same respect. Your imperfections, your rawness, your vulnerability does not make you crazy or any kind of degrading adjective. I have been guilty at times in my… Read more »
@ Erin,
Not that it is a competitive thing, but the paucity of comments on Patrick’s piece is quite telling. At least it is to me.
I think the principal difference is Arianna’s piece has more depth, character, and substance. It is her rawness, being vulnerable, and actually detailing a specific relationship she wants with a man that makes it more compelling.
It is great to see women challenge one another (for a change) over things that are clearly wrong. It also shows a lot of character on Arianna’s part to step back and admit she was indeed wrong.
Yup, hurt a woman’s feelings and reconsider your article. Get criticism for posting an article erasing millions of male rape victims and men just need to be satisfied with any acknowledgement at all. GMP, that seems wrong.
John – My feelings were not hurt by Arianna’s piece. And even if they had been, having feelings about certain articles doesn’t automatically dump us into some unfathomable abyss of illogicalness. More plainly, having feelings doesn’t make you illogical. I have seen you express many feelings toward many articles on GMP. Having feelings makes you human and relational. GMP remains a place to share, discuss, think, evaluate and exchange ideas. Making, what I have interpreted to be, a mocking comment about ‘hurt a woman’s feelings…” makes it sound like you don’t think women especially deserve a place to speak their… Read more »
I am thoroughly confused, as I have never written, posted or shared anything related to male rape victims.
As for the rest, I did not perceive Erin as having had her feelings hurt here. Not even sure why that is in quotes, as it isn’t a quote from anything here.
I said that Erin had a point because Erin had a point.
We are here to have a conversation, right? I always look forward to learning from conversations, not just to teaching others.
I’m speaking specifically of. “I did not write to her or GMP asking that the article be removed or altered in anyway.” Although technically I’ve never called for an article to be altered, I have questioned why many have been published especially articles that have erased millions of male rape victims. This may bot technically have been a call for their removal unless you consider it a pre-posting removal. Erin’s suggestions that this is somehow wrong suggests that I am somehow wrong for suggesting that GMP be more selective about the “pro-male” rape victim articles they choose to run. The… Read more »
Please explain what and how this article specifically has done to ‘erase millions of male rape victims”?
@ Erin I thought I made it clear that it wasn’t this article, but th reaction to your criticism of this article as compared to the reaction to my criticism of other articles discussing male rape victims. I suppose O could have posted this critique on those articles instead of this one, but you might ask what an article talking about male rape victims have to do with women calling themselves b*tches or maybe you won’t because you might feel that is a more worthy topic to cover. Anyway if it’s not clear. I don’t know how to make it… Read more »
John, I have never criticized you for talking about male rape victims. I have criticized you for hijacking articles about female rape victims and carrying on with your own agenda. Much like what you are doing here by using this article and my response to it, as a sounding board to air your grievances on other topics. No one here is interested in talking about or reading about our grievances with each other. Why don’t we focus on *this* topic? Okay?
I think the difference is Arianna talks more in the comments than many of the other authors, and seems far more engaged. There’s a lot of content now on GMP that is republished work and rarely gets the author commenting.
@ Erin
“I guess you can call yourself a b*tch if you want but you are only making it that much easier for men to use those words and terms against women everyday.”
Just as long as men use the stereotype of women being crazy to excuse women’s bad behavior and it’s beneficial to women then it’s OK. Let’s just be against something when it’s bad for women.
What in the world are you talking about? First, I know how you feel about stereotypes used against men. So please apply the same respect you do to men’s issues around being stereotyped to women’s. Secondly, a lot of times I have heard men use the word ‘crazy” when he simply didn’t understand her emotions, not because her behavior was all that terrible. Thirdly, I never said that it was okay for anyone to use stereotypes about women’s ‘craziness” to ‘excuse” women’s bad behavior. I would be more then happy if men called out women’s bad behavior with more depth… Read more »
@ Erin “Secondly, a lot of times I have heard men use the word ‘crazy” when he simply didn’t understand her emotions, not because her behavior was all that terrible.” Did I say they didn’t. What I said was women also use excuses like I was on my period or I’m a woman so I can change my mind, etc. as a form of excuse. I’ve seen men and women excuse a woman’s bad behavior. No mother in her right mind would, he must have done something to, etc; but let’s go ahead and keep the stereotype of it’s just… Read more »
Message to women:
Please stop expecting a man to know you better than you know yourself. And if you actually find one, please stop pretending you’ll always be happy about it…
Please stop expecting a man to provide exactly what you need, sometimes opposite to what you want, in every moment. We are not even talking about mind-reading capabilities any more, it goes even beyond that.
Are you ready to take your armour off when someone else is around?
And honestly, do you really want to?
Flyingkal
Arianna sounds honest here and I do not see that she tells men to understand her better than she does herself.
( But some men do actually understand me better than I do myself :))
Silke, “I want you to be man enough to be able to want those things while respecting me enough to know when to stand back and let me do it myself, and when to let me in and let us do that for each other.” Among other things. Yes,she is being honest about the qualities she wants or rather seems to expect in a man. But… I think there’s a pretty stark contrast between this article, and the corresponding “Open letter to woman” linked in the beginning. This one is pretty much telling a man what is expected of him,… Read more »
Flyingkal Yes this letters express different expectations. I just read them as two letters from two individuals ,and as how women see the world and men see the world after a divorce. Arianna’s letter is more of a warning and that is why I see it as honest. It is not a well written letter and I am 100% with Erin in her comments on words used, BUT she talks about a truth ,,,how hard it is to start again ,how strong feelings can and will come up and be a problem ,when you try to trust again, and I… Read more »
typo
and not as how women see the world…….
Thank you, Silke. You completely understood the intention, and I appreciate that very much.
Hi Silke,
“Arianna’s letter is more of a warning and that is why I see it as honest.”
Agreed. And my point was, how would we react if the man had written a similar letter?
Flyingkal To know who you are and be able to express that is a strength also when a man does it. Self awareness is attractive! I know many men here will tell me I am wrong because their experience with women is that the get dumped if they show feelings of weakness. Sometimes I wonder if those episodes happened when the man broke down . like in a near nervous break down? I do not know. But the more you show who you are and are able to be emotionally close to woman,then better you get at being close. It… Read more »
@ FlyingKal, “I think there’s a pretty stark contrast between this article, and the corresponding “Open letter to woman” linked in the beginning.” Yes. What is most striking about the other letter is how so little he articulated he wanted in a woman. He is very backward looking in that he seems more concerned about the woman he want not holding his past against him. But, what is he actually wants in a woman? Now contrast this letter…She does admit she made mistakes too. But, she succinctly details an assortment of expectations and requirements she wants in a man. Se… Read more »
Hi Jules,
You are right there are differences between the letters.
They both admit they have made mistakes in the past.
But the other letter acknowledges that the woman, the possible future partenr, also have a past, and that he will be mindful not to hold it against him.
As you say, This letter is all about the author, her past, and how she hopes (expects?) that her future partner will be able to “contain” that.
The man sets up much less expectations and boundaries his future partner, agreed. But why is that? I think it is interesting.
@ FlyingKal, “But why is that? I think it is interesting.” I think it has to do with the different styles of communication that men and women have. Women have a more relational style while we men are more linear. This letter is not only about what she is looking for in a man. More importantly she is stating very succinctly how she wish to relate that man. She is also detailing how she expects him to relate to her. We men are more linear. He has a past. His primary focus seems t be on that past and how… Read more »
Also, (providing the first answer gets through)
The man seems to be writing to someone he’s already met.
“You are incredible. Gorgeous, smart, engaging, fun and kind. I want to be around you. I want you in my life.”
Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t list potential traits he’s looking for in any future partner, because he’s already found one that seems to have most of whwat he wants?
Flyingkal Look at what Patrick writes to the women he want: ” If you want to hold how I’ve handled being single against me ,that is obviously your choice…………..none of that stuff mattered”. Flyingkal, he does not tell her what he has done. Did he sell his home and gambled away all the money? Or did he rob a bank, and ended up in prison? Maybe he went as sex tourist to Germany’s many brothels and had unprotected sex every day for months? Or maybe he beat up his ex, or used drugs, ? I do not like the letter.… Read more »
Silke,
Please see my answer to you and Jules below.
As I already said in my previous post, he seems to write to someone he’s already met. And in that case, he has probably shared with her in person what he’s talking about.
Silke,
You can not cheat on someone you’re not in a relationship with, someone you haven’t even met yet…
Sorry,
“But, what is it he actually wants in a woman?
Jules
To me it seems obvious.
He wants forgiveness ,total acceptance for who he is without telling her anything .
@ Silke, He certainly wants total and unconditional acceptance. Even if he were to tell her (or us) anything, I still cannot find any adjectives that describe the woman he wants. Nor does he detail the type of relationship he wants with her. Again, I think this is a “flaw” in us men. We are not relational thinkers…We are very good at building business relationships. Why? They do not involve any emotions. When it comes to building personal and deep emotional, we need to do better. Some of us are fine. Most men are not. I know much of it… Read more »
Silke, and Jules. I get the impression that he’s writing, at least fictitiously, to someone he has already met. Maybe they’ve already dated a couple of times “You weren’t here. Life changed when you showed up.“. And that he has shared with her in person what he’s now asking her to consider. I read it as he’s had a messy divorce, and probably an equally stormy or messy relationship before that. But then again, maybe I just don’t have a vivid enough imagination, I don’t know…? And since he’s already met here, there’s really not much need to describe what… Read more »
Great article. I was similar after my divorce. I did better when I quit being scared of my sharing my past. It is what it is and I want to be with something that is fine with that. Maybe you had a couple of typos? you wrote: “I promise you I am trying to excuse that.” Did you mean “NOT trying to excuse that.”? And, you wrote, “But I do want you to want to do things.” Did you mean, “THOSE things”? or “SUCH things” Finally, I think it’s supposed to be “crumpled-on-the-floor moments” maybe, best of luck finding the… Read more »
Also,
“I don’t need to you take care of me,…………” Maybe “for you” not “to you”?
Thank you Frank!
And Jules, you’re right! Yikes! Thank you!
Whew. Nice one. I’m hoping your next man can embrace all of your bad assness.