Jed Diamond’s four step system to stress relief can help you lead a happier life.
This just in from the not-news department: Stress kills. It’s a factor in both heart disease and stroke. Together, these two diseases account for approximately one-third of deaths and approximately $444 Billion according to the CDC (US figures only).
Unless your name is Rip Van Winkle and you’ve just woken up from a long slumber, you have some idea how to lower your risk: eat a balanced diet, get more exercise, get enough sleep, don’t smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol in moderation, etc.
Trying to live a low stress life is also key here, but it’s not easy to do. It’s not like you can tell the nice folks at Credit Card Central you’ve decided to work fewer hours in order to reduce your stress level and have them say “no problem, we’ll just zero out that balance for you.”
For a variety of reasons, guys like to do things on their own. We don’t like asking for directions or going to the doctor’s office. In fact, that reluctance to see a doctor shows up in a variety of ways according to Psychologist Will Courtenay, author of “Dying to be Men.” Compared to women, men are less likely to have an annual physical, less likely to go to the doctor when they don’t feel well, and are less likely to follow the doctor’s treatment recommendations. As a result, they are more likely to receive their initial diagnosis of chronic illness at a later and less treat-able stage. That’s undoubtedly why men are more likely than women to die from 13 of the 15 most common killers, including heart disease, cancer, and chronic respiratory disease. In this list, high blood pressure of unknown cause has equal death rates and Alzheimer’s kills more women than men.
But the newest book by psychologist and author Jed Diamond, PhD, offers help. Stress Relief for Men: How to Use the Revolutionary Tools of Energy Healing to Live Wellis Diamond’s tenth book. He’s most famous for Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome and writes periodically for a number of outlets, including GMP.
Diamond’s system is about bringing our heart and soul into alignment so that health can flow from “inside,” the way it did prior to the invention of “modern” Western medicine..
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If the bit about “energy healing” sounds a too new age-y to you, then bear with me—and Diamond—for a few minutes. This system doesn’t require you to visit your local new age shop, become a vegetarian, or find a traditional healer in the Chinese or Native American traditions.
In many ways, it’s about bringing our heart and soul into alignment so that health can flow from “inside,” the way it did prior to the invention of “modern” Western medicine. If you can grok that idea and forget two dualities we’ve been raised with—heart (feelings) vs. mind (reason) and body vs. mind—then the rest is pretty straightforward.
The book is divided into three sections. The first provides the technical background on both stress and energy healing, including the very real science that examines the body’s energy fields. The second section teaches you how to use the four central tools, and the final section talks about some ways to reduce stress.
Diamond’s four tools are surprisingly straightforward. I’ve simplified them further:
Earthing/Grounding: For Diamond, this is about (re-)connecting with the Earth and nature in some way, on a weekly—or daily—basis. It’s as simple as taking a walk someplace where there’s lots of trees and grass and little to no noise from our industrialized life (traffic, construction, etc.). Diamond also recommends going barefoot or wearing leather-soled shoes (not plastic or rubber). I’m fortunate enough to have an office of my own and I’ve started sitting at my desk with my shoes off. My office is carpeted and I’m one of those people who just likes being barefoot, so I didn’t need much encouragement.
Heart Coherence: Diamond argues “the heart has a mind of its own,” as well as a magnetic field that is stronger than the brain’s. He emphasizes the importance of doing things that make you happy and bring you joy, while minimizing the bad stuff. He recognizes that we’re unlikely to just get rid of the bad stuff—that annoying coworker probably isn’t going to stop being a pain in the arse, for example—but says we need to focus on the positive and recognize the negative for what it is: an irritant. Diamond also reminds us that we have (passively) chosen not to do many things we like, whether that’s playing sports, creating something with our hands, or hanging out with friends. The pleasure of those activities is important for a healthy heart, so we need to get off our butts, figure out the logistics, and make it happen. This one’s been more challenging for me, but I’ve started exercising more regularly, even if it “costs” me 30 minutes of sleep most days.
Attachment Love: Also known as the “energy essence of intimacy,” Diamond stresses the importance of having an open, intimate, heart-to-heart connection with someone else. He focuses primarily on couples; I asked him if a close friend could also meet these needs and he said yes. The key here is having someone who loves and supports you unconditionally and who you love and support unconditionally. In effect, that person provides a ground that can help you find heart coherence. It’s important to actually spend some time with that person too. I’ve been putting more effort into making sure I spend time with friends, even if that means getting together for dinner on a weekday night because that’s the only time our schedules match. As a result, I’m seeing more of my friends more often, even if our time together isn’t as long as I’d like it to be.
I finished the book about a month ago and have taken its suggestions to heart. I’ve been more relaxed and less stressed.
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Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): This is the piece of Diamond’s system that is most likely to make you go “what?” Diamond assures us that he tried this years ago, it really works, and he continues to use it today. This is “tapping” therapy: you physically tap a set of 8 spots on your head, face, and collarbone in order to stimulate the body’s meridian energy system. I’ve struggled with the EFT tapping and I suspect I’m doing something wrong. It still feels a little silly to me, but whatever. If it’s helping me—even if it’s just a reminder not to take myself too seriously—I’ll keep doing it.
I finished the book about a month ago and have taken its suggestions to heart. I’ve been more relaxed and less stressed. At least, I think have; it’s possible I’ve talked myself into it. But even if part of what is going on is the placebo effect, I feel less stressed now than I did a few weeks ago, and that’s exactly the point.
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In case you haven’t heard, June is Men’s Health Month. Take care of yourself and the other men in your life.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
Andrew, great stuff. I’m more into the metaphysical and deep connection stuff, but realize that some people may need a more mundane approach to begin with. In this case, I always recommend “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie.
Keep up this great advice. I’m going to read more from Jed (I see him here on the boards, too).
WUNJO!
Thanks Bradley.
Andrew, thanks for the in-depth review. I’m glad you found the information helpful. As you know I use these practices myself and with my clients. I’m convinced that healing stress in our lives and preventing stress from becoming chronic can go a long way in preventing most of the major causes of death and disability that men (and women) face in our lives.
You’re welcome Jed. THe book is well written and quite accessible.