Men are Abused
When you think of domestic violence, which includes both physical and emotional abuse, you may default to imagine women as the victims and men as the abusers. However, this is a societal stereotype, and it isn’t universally true. Men are also victims of physical and emotional abuse, despite being viewed as stoic, unfeeling, and not necessarily capable of expressing sadness or vulnerability. We need to push back against this mentality, as it’s not true. Men can show a full range of emotions and don’t need to feel shame for doing so.
Emotional Abuse is Real
Being in an abusive relationship can make a man feel trapped, hopeless and deeply flawed about themselves. You don’t enter into a relationship assuming that your partner is going to be harmful to you. Many people, unfortunately, find themselves in this toxic dynamic and can’t seem to leave. Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify. Physical abuse can leave visible marks or scars, broken bones, or (in extreme situations) can lead to death. Emotional and verbal abusers are more covert in how they hurt their victims. Often, the victim believes that their partner truly loves them, regardless of how they are treated, and because of this, they continue to stay.
“You can’t Survive Without Me.”
One reason an abused man stays in a relationship is that his partner may convince him that he “can’t do any better,” or he “won’t be able to make it alone.” These are dangerous lies that abusers tell their victims and they are destructive to the victim’s self-esteem. They may feel that this is the truth. Hearing that he is weak hurts a man because society expects men to possess unlimited strength and bravery. No human being can be courageous 100 percent of the time. Everyone needs to feel sad or vulnerable sometimes. When a man hears these words, his self-image suffers and the abuse breaks him down. He becomes complacent in the relationship. It’s like being in a prison with invisible bars.
Biased Court System
When the abused person is a man, he may feel even more shame than a female victim would. Women are not generally seen as abusers in our society, for the most part. The court system is notorious for favoring females in domestic violence cases, regardless of the facts. The result is that men do not get the help they need and continue to be victims of abuse. In fact, according to the CDC, 1 in 7 men are the victims of domestic violence. Emotional and verbal abuse falls under the category of domestic violence, just as physical abuse does. It becomes increasingly difficult for men who are being emotionally and/or verbally abused to get the support and treatment they need, rather than those that are being physically abused. If no one believes that your partner is harming you in any manner, how do you escape this toxic relationship?
Believe Men Who are Abused
It’s crucial that we believe victims of emotional abuse regardless of their gender, and when a man confides in you that he’s a victim of abuse – believe him. It’s the same concept as survivors of sexual assault. We need to learn to listen to survivors, rather than punishing them or victim-blaming. It’s a brave act to come forward and say, “I need help.” Imagine how scary that must feel for a man, especially if his loved ones don’t believe him. What can we do? Believe people when they say they need help. Listen to victims, hear their stories, and help them find the resources to get treatment for their trauma.
Men can Find Therapy for Emotional Abuse
After enduring emotional abuse, it’s necessary to heal from that trauma. If a man continues to go on and repress the psychological damage they’ve incurred, along with their emotional wounds, they will creep back up in explosive episodes of rage, depression, disassociation, and/or emotional numbness. There is a range of therapeutic options to treat abuse, from seeing a therapist in an office or getting online therapy with an experienced trauma counselor. If you’re a man who is a victim of emotional abuse, your pain is real. You deserve to get the help that you need.
This is a featured post by site sponsor Better Help.
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