Steven Covey wrote in his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” that “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to respond.”
In the era of the #metoo movement, I have heard many men: be it pundits, acquaintances, colleagues, and even friends, argue against the reality of sexual harassment because they themselves have not experienced it.
Ironically, when I’ve spoken to these men if they wish to end violence and harassment against women, they respond with a ‘yes’ without question.
So what’s the first step towards ending it as men? We need to listen.
Because my reality as a white, straight male is not one where I have to fear for my safety all the time. I’ve never been in a situation with someone from the opposite sex and was in fear for my life. But I know way too many women where that is in fact, a reality. I’ve known way too many women who’ve expressed this reality to me and it makes me sick to my stomach. I learned this from listening.
And although it was never my intention to make a woman feel uncomfortable in any situation – and though no woman has told me such – there’s no way of me knowing I’ve done such a thing for certain. But that’s kind of the whole point of the whole thing, isn’t it?
Now some men reading this might say to themselves or to other women:
“Not all men,”
“I’ve never heard of that!”
“Women have equal rights in this country!”
“What about men who face abuse?”
But please, just take one moment and simply listen to what women have to say.
You might not know that the women you work with are constantly harassed by men twice their age.
You might not know that your sister was physically attacked by a stranger.
You might not know what your girlfriend or partner has been through.
But if you listen without waiting to respond, they might feel comfortable enough to tell you. And if or when they do I hope you get that same sick feeling that I get and we finally do something about it.
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Photo Credits: Alex Blăjan
Your title says it and the power of listening to males and females feeling separated from love is the use of love to heal and grow. thanks, and please write more