Maybe it is time to go do something that scares you.
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I never write “personal” posts. This is about you, and how I can serve you. Therefore, I have always tried to keep personal feelings out of the posts and rather focus on the science and the opinions of others.
For this post, I am breaking with tradition.
Why?
Because I have been getting a lot of emails from readers asking me how to cope with fear. The fear of failure, rejection, putting yourself out there. The fear of starting a new business.
I could give you a nice 5 step list on how to cope with fear. I could reference various studies, and in the future I will probably do that too. But not today.
Today, I want to tell you that I, too, am afraid.
Every time, before I hit publish on a new article, video, or podcast, I am racked with insecurity. Over time, it has become less and less, but it is there, ever present in the back of my head.
Is this content good enough? Am I adding value? Who am I to give advice on this topic? Why would anyone listen to me? Am I going to be torn apart by trolls?
I recently decided to add video to the site. My first was a video on exercises you can do at home. See it below.
You have no idea how nervous I was to publish this. I was worried that people in the fitness fraternity would criticize me for giving fitness advice when I am not a coach or personal trainer, or that I might get flak for not showing people a full fledged workout video instead of a 20 minute workout routine.
Do you know what happened?
Nothing.
The video was well received. It got quite a few views on Youtube, and I received a few emails from guys thanking me for the video.
As it often is in life, all that worry was for nothing.
You will NEVER be free of the trolls.
We live in a digital world. The world seems small, yet it is still bigger than you think. There is a much bigger chance of your efforts dying in obscurity than ever being broadcast to the world.
And even if they are. So what? You tried something. You made the decision to not sit by and do nothing. Good for you. The people who matter will salute you for that and encourage you to start prepping for the next round.
Failure is NEVER final.
Of course, we are not just talking about failure in the sense of an idea flopping, but also in the sense of you putting yourself out there and being criticized.
Think people just love BetterMan? Well, mostly they do 🙂 But every now and again, I get a beauty like this comment below.
The strange thing is how you can become so obsessed with this ridiculous comment and forget the hundreds of people who will cheer you on, people who find value in what you do.
But yes, if you put yourself out there you will be criticized. All of us are. Welcome to the family.
Initially, I got VERY upset when someone unsubsribed from my mailing list. It felt so personal. I felt like I let that person down, that I did not live up to my promise of providing them with the quality content they deserved.
Then I learned that even the best bloggers in the world lose hundreds of subscribers every time they send out an email. It is not personal. It is just business.
Learning that distinction made all the difference.
But NEVER let the trolls overshadow the good you do. I favorite all the emails from people who appreciate the work I do, so I can keep it in front of me on days when I feel worn down.
Like this:
and this:
In summary:
Your fear of failure, of being criticized, is normal. Anyone who has ever accomplished anything will tell you that.
The trick is to sit down and figure out what is really scaring you.
Feel like you are not skilled enough? Jump in and learn as you go!
Feel like you will be judged? You will be. But it won’t matter because you will also be praised.
#youarenotalone
Now go do something that scares you.
PS – As I said, I don’t do personal posts. If you enjoyed this, though, please let me know. It is important for me to write what you want to see on the site.
Originally posted on Better Man Blue Print. Reprinted with permission.
Photo: eekim/Flickr
I’m not a man, but I want to thank you for sharing this article. Seriously, you made my day with it. It’s interesting to hear what you think before you hit publish, because I hear it too – and most other bloggers I know also hear it. I think we tend to get so caught up thinking we are overly special or something. 😉 I think you should do more personal-type articles.
Hi Kari,
Thank you very much.
In return, your comment has made my day too.
You have a great site. Keep inspiring the ones who need it most.