Ty Phillips shares three behaviors he models for his daughter to help her become a good citizen.
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I load Brynn into the back seat, buckle her in her booster chair, and proceed to load the groceries in the trunk. I climb in, turn on the car and hear, “Daddy, I don’t like this.” I turn around and see a half eaten cream filled chocolate egg, melted and oozing between her tiny digits and wonder where she got it. It quickly dawns on me that while I was loading the groceries onto the cashiers belt, she must have pocketed it (candy being all open and on child level).
I take a deep breath, grab the baby wipes, clean her off, gobble up the other half, and march back into the store. Luckily it was a slow morning and I was able to walk back up to the same cashier and explain the situation. She laughed and we both explained to Brynn how candy wasn’t for children to take without asking and that we still had to pay for it.
After I paid and we were walking away, the cashier asked, “Why didn’t you just leave? No one would have known.” “I knew,” I replied. “It was the right thing to do and I can’t expect my children to do the right thing, if I am unwilling to do it too.” She looked at me for a moment and then thanked me. “It’s not my store and I honestly wouldn’t have cared, but I do now.” Brynn waved bye and we walked back to the car and went home.
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I often wonder how seemingly little things would make a huge impact if we just took the time to do them. Stopping to pick up a cup or a bottle on the sidewalk or bathroom floor and tossing it in the trash, holding the door for the person behind us, smiling at a child, or just telling our partners that we appreciate them and all that they do and try to do. It all seems so simple, yet I try and do these few things every day,
Say Thank You
Not just in passing. Not a quick mumbled, useless brevity that no one notices but a heart felt offer of appreciation for even the smallest kindness. You will be amazed when you stop everything that you are doing and look the person in the eye and honestly say; thank you. It goes a long way towards humanizing our communication and making that other person feel appreciated and heard.
Smiling and Saying Hello
I used to walk down the street with a scowl on my face. I wanted to be seen as the biggest, hardest, and scariest person I could. Thankfully, things changed. For a while after, I made an attempt just to watch people. Very few made eye contact, and fewer still smiled or offered any kind of greeting. Now, I smile at everyone who looks at me and I say hello as often as I can without being creepy. People often stop and smile or make an attempt to turn around if they didn’t catch me and yell back, “Hello!” Not everyone may react, but think how hard it is not to smile and say hello when someone says it to you.
Holding the Door
I hold the door for men and women. This isn’t an issue of etiquette or sexism but simply an attempt at being polite. Someone is coming in and I pull the door and stand out of the way to allow them first entry. Sometimes they ignore me, and that’s okay but sometimes they get the next door and say, “Thank you.” It’s a small circle, but one that brings us back over and over again into humanizing each other; to treating each other as more than just something in the way.
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It never takes much, just a little effort, and just the smallest of thoughts, but it can make an impact on someone’s day; that simple thank you, the smile and the acknowledgment, or holding a door. It’s not much but someone, somewhere will notice and you can go on your day knowing you did, even if small, the right thing.
Photo—Tjook/Flickr
I live in a small conservative community where hardly no one from the adults to kids uses the words “thank you”, “excuse me”, and/or “please”, and then these people complain about the lack of civil behavior in the country.