During the honeymoon phase, all you think about is your love. Over time, life happens, and every guy has a decision to make.
Remember the first time you kissed her? The excitement of the moments before your lips touched, running your hands through her hair as you embraced, and it felt like time was standing still. That first kiss was special and got you excited about the possibility of what’s to come.
You date some more and admit to yourself–and each other–that you’re in love. You’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship where the air smells different and every day you wake up next to her is magical. You look past the little things that may bother you about her because your love and feelings are stronger.
I have been married to my beautiful bride for 17 years. We met working at Burger King. I was 17 years old. She hated me at first, but that hate turned to love as we spent shift after shift together. We were married the day after I turned 18 years old. We thought our love could conquer anything.
Over the years, we have had many of the problems couples normally struggle with. We fought about money—we were severely in debt. I struggled with my weight, which led to problems in our sex life. I was selfish and chased her away. We separated and got back together after I stopped talking and proved to her–through my actions–that I was changing. We went to counseling and learned that love is not a feeling. It’s a decision.
With the chaos of life, we end up falling into routines in our relationships. We go to work; we pick ups kids, we hang out with friends and a thousand other things. The passion and excitement gives way to comfort and convenience. That magic from the first kiss turns into you two not even kissing every day.
When the honeymoon phase is over, you have some choices to make. You can choose love or how you feel, which leads to being in love with her instead of the idea of being in love. The idea of love is strong, maybe one of the strongest feelings we will experience in our life. If your relationship will stand the test of time and struggle, you have to get honest.
Put in the Work
Love is amazing, it’s magical, it gives you feelings and emotions that you didn’t think you were capable of. The feelings aren’t enough to make your relationship last. The rate of divorce these days is only getting higher. People get divorced for all kinds of reasons, but being in love with the idea–instead of the person–is a major one.
Relationships take work—a lot of work. You have to wake up every day and put the other person’s needs above your wants. You have to wake up every day and resist the attraction you have towards other people. You have to choose the commitment you made over sexual desires.
How is your relationship? If there are one too many fights, or you just don’t “feel” it, get real with yourself. Are you choosing love or giving into your feelings? Are you in love or in love with the idea. If there hasn’t been abuse or another unforgivable scenario, put in the work and choose love. Relationships are hard work, but they’re worth it.
Are you still in love?
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Photo: Flickr/ erin m