We have been brainwashed to be scared of everything and so we have forgotten to ask ourselves what we want and worse, we have forgotten to act on it.
How many times do you hear people saying?
“And yes, he has the life of my dreams!”
“Yes, this guy knows how to live!”
Well, I hear it quite often and keep asking myself…
“Do you really mean that”?
And I can’t help digging deeper…
“So why? Why aren’t you doing something about it”?
Most of the time, it seems, we don’t realize how in control of our lives we are and should be.
At every moment, we are the ones making the decisions, sure most of the time based on external factors, but still, in the end, it comes down to us.
Let me give you an example.
Why do you get up every Monday at 6 am to go to work? Is anyone forcing you to do so?
Nope, I don’t think so, right?
You do it, you decide to get up, because you understand that to get paid, you need to show up. And you decide to do it. No one forces you. You just don’t want to suffer the consequences of not showing up, but you could. It is up to you.
You are deciding that you want to get paid to feed yourself and your family, or to go away on a vacation next summer. No matter the reason why you act a certain way or do something, it is still a choice. You don’t have to — you choose to.
Your choice. You do it because you decide to. And that is how life happens. Decision after decision.
Our lives are built by the little choices we make every day. Keep that in mind.
So, if we know we want a different life, a life that we chose for ourselves, why not just go after it?
And there comes the crucial question:
HOW MUCH and WHAT are we willing TO LOSE to have the life we envision as our chosen life? One can even say our dream life?
And it doesn’t matter what kind of life — I mean, I might want to live in the countryside, you might want to adopt a kid, someone else might choose to move to a big city and try to land a job at the biggest law firm. It doesn’t matter as long as it is our authentic choice.
So why aren’t we going after it?
Is the fear of change so rooted inside us that we rather live an unfulfilled life than risking the change? I can’t cope with that.
How can we wake up everyday dissatisfied with the life we have when knowing it is our choice and still pretend to be ok with that? That is how we should envision ourselves going through the next decades?
What if one day we wake up and realize life has passed us by?
Or do we expect for something to fall out of the sky? Or for someone to come knocking at our doors and simply deliver us the life we so much say we wish for?
Let me tell you something. Chances are that it will not happen, not now, not tomorrow, never.
It is our responsibility and it takes a lot of courage.
Most people are just scared because to go after the life you choose is about gains and losses, about joy and pain, it is about failing to benefit and sometimes just failing.
It is risky and scary, but once we understand it is our decision, our choice, it becomes empowering and fulfilling. And worth the risk. It moves us forward.
We were born, and told what to do, maybe not directly by our caretakers, but mostly by our surroundings and culture. Go to school, study, have a hobby, go to college or find a job. Graduate and start building your career. Date someone. Get married. Have children. Ok, why not?
But how much of all this “ life recipe “ is based on our choices?
How many times have we taken the time to understand our real needs, ours as an individual, and not as one fulfilling a role?
That’s my point.
To what extent are we the ones responsible for how our life has developed so far and will develop in the years to come?
Well, we better start asking ourselves the real questions if we want to stop saying someone else is living the life we want. We better start being accountable for every decision and action we make, every single day.
We are the smartest breed on earth but still we have allowed ourselves to conform to a life that has been delivered to us while we keep dreaming of a different one.
Is it worth it? We each have different answers.
But what I invite us all to do here is to at least question and examine ourselves.
Am I choosing my life?
If so, stop saying someone else has the life of your dreams and embrace yours with all your heart!
If not, ask yourself what are you willing to risk and lose to live the life of your choice.
And once you have the answers, start working towards it, in constructive and realistic ways — so next time someone hears you, you won’t be saying “Look he has the life of my dreams” but instead “ I am working to build the life of my choice”.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Unsplash