Shawn Henfling believes star athletes are simply better men than the rest of us and should be treated as such.
SATIRE ALERT! SATIRE ALERT! SATIRE ALERT!
Ladies and Gentlemen, a travesty of justice was committed today in a courtroom in Bristol County, Massachusetts. Aaron Hernandez, a fine and upstanding former member of the New England Patriots was found guilty of first degree murder. Somehow, a jury convicted the young man of murder despite a case built on circumstantial evidence, no murder weapon and no witnesses.
Citizens, this is why we can’t have nice things.
This poor athlete is the victim here, as are dozens of others like him. People not unlike us have, in fits of jealousy and rage, framed these men, these pillars of society for crimes they could not possibly have committed. They are victims of reverse classism, a despicable form of discrimination that has no room in our polished and advanced society. Athletes are simply better men than the rest of us, and that jealousy has taken yet another promising talent from the field of play.
Sure, we expect some minor transgressions from athletes. DUI violations, domestic abuse, child abuse, hostage situations, even the occasional murder. Seriously though, why hold that against them? These men are the best of us. They represent all that is manly and true. Good Heavens. Why should they be held accountable for these things? They shouldn’t. Like Elsa says, just let it go . We’ve groomed them for this their entire lives. Frankly, it is unjust to take it away from them now.
Poor Ray Rice! Donte Stallworth! Pacman Jones! Men who skated by their entire lives only to be held accountable now? I get angry just thinking about it. These men, sculpted like an Adonis, are the very picture of manhood and masculinity. It is inconceivable to me to change the way we treat them now. This is part of the deal, the trade off we made early in their lives.
Starting in high school we treat athletes differently. They are taught to expect preferential treatment at the hands of everyone from law enforcement to teachers and everyday citizens. In college, their expectations rarely change. Hell, colleges and universities make a killing on these guys, why expect anything more of them than playing time?
Crime? So what! Don’t you understand these young men have better things to worry about than illegal activity?
The reality is that crime is a problem everywhere. The problem with Aaron Hernandez isn’t that he played in the NFL. The problem is that his roots were always in troubled neighborhoods with ties to gangs. They followed him through college and into the NFL where he failed to grow out of his troubled youth.
Because of his freakish athleticism, his transgressions were overlooked at every level and instead of forcing him to confront his demons and get help, he was allowed to wallow in the criminal underworld in which he had become accustomed. The commentary here is less about an athlete and more about the oft overlooked problems with society.
Aaron Hernandez is guilty, but culpability must be shared by the multitudes who allowed his behavior to continue unabated. There is a lesson there for the next high school that is considering letting athletes slide instead of treating them just as they would any other student.
Editor’s Note: Until the last paragraphs, the above post is satire. Like The Onion or The Borowitz Report. Or well….maybe more like Jonathan Swift. Anyway. Just so you know.
Photo Credit: Aaron Frutman/flickr
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