Two years ago I got terrible concussion that put me in a dark place for a few months. I struggle with depression, and the concussion made the depression that much worse. I didn’t tell anybody about my concussion or what it was doing to my mental state. People who hadn’t heard from me in a while texted me to check-in, but I just ignored them because I was embarrassed about what I was going through.
It took a long time to get over the concussion and to feel like my normal self again. And then just when it felt like I was getting back into a flow, my partner had a miscarriage. And the pain and sorrow was immense.
It’s not the first time I’ve felt pain and sorrow, and won’t be the last time either. When someone you know is hurting, it’s easy to give them advice — it’s much harder to follow that advice when you’re in the middle of your own storm. When you feel hollow and lost and aren’t sure what to do.
When you’re experiencing pain and sorrow, be kind to yourself. If there’s one thing I learned from my concussion and the miscarriage, it’s that you can’t try to get through pain and sorrow on your own. That it’s not healthy to hide it. That you have to be kind to yourself and do the things you’d tell a friend to do. Which means — remembering to do the things that your mind, body and soul need most.
It means getting sleep, and moving your body, and picking up the phone when mom and dad call to offer support.
It means talking with friends — or if you need quiet time alone, taking it.
It means that if you need to cry; you let yourself cry.
It means you tell people that you’re hurting, and you let them show up to love and support you.
It means you go to therapy for the first time — even if it’s something that terrifies you.
When you’re experiencing pain and sorrow, your mind, body and soul need a chance to heal. So be kind to yourself and let yourself heal in all the ways it needs it.
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Previously published on medium
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