
Do you believe that finding the “right person” is the key to a successful relationship? For me, I would argue that. True love goes beyond relying on someone else to fulfill our needs; it is about deepening our understanding of ourselves.
A friend once shared an insightful thought with me: “How can I trust my future to my partner if they don’t even know what they want and how they feel about it?” Initially, this statement caught me off guard. How could we entirely trust another person with our future? However, I have come to realize that this notion is flawed.
Love shouldn’t be approached like investing in stocks, where we depend on external information and hope for the best outcome. It is a journey of self-discovery and gaining a profound understanding of our true desires.
When we enter a relationship expecting our partner to meet all our needs, we risk losing our own identity. This mindset might lead us to settle for someone who doesn’t truly fulfill us or make us excessively reliant on them.
Instead, I firmly believe that the purpose of our love experiences is to learn more about ourselves and become more self-sufficient. By taking the time to comprehend our own needs and desires, we become better equipped to communicate them to our partners and build a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
Granted, embarking on a relationship always involves a degree of risk. However, by focusing on understanding ourselves first, we approach love with greater clarity and confidence.
Who knows? We might even discover that the “right person” has been within us all along. To genuinely love someone else, we must first love ourselves. Understanding our own values, desires, and needs and effectively communicating them to our partners is no easy feat. It requires self-reflection and introspection. Yet, the reward is a deeper understanding of ourselves and the ability to create a more fulfilling and meaningful relationship!
So if you find yourself wondering why you haven’t encountered the “right person” yet, perhaps it’s because you haven’t fully grasped your own essence. Take some time for self-reflection, pondering your values, desires, and needs. Practice self-love and self-care. and when you do enter a relationship, approach it with an open mind and a willingness to express your needs and desires. Only then can you genuinely find someone who respects and loves you for who you truly are.
Remember, love isn’t solely about finding someone to cater to our every need. It’s about delving into self-understanding and discovering someone who embraces and cherishes us for who we are.
What are your thoughts on my sharing? Tell me more in the comments!
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
—–
Photo credit: Sarah Wolfe on Unsplash