Simply living my life as an only parent has increased my capacity to be my daughter’s first teacher. It has also enabled me to be the most important teacher throughout her life.
This has positioned me to instill family values in my daughter’s spirit. Her independence continues to manifest as she has developed into a mature teenager. But there is beauty in seeing the authentic reflection of those values flourish within her persona.
Remaining a consistent example for my daughter has released her to freely align her value system to what I consider family values. As a result, my daughter has embraced big life lessons embedded in these seven important values.
Our Shared Values
Here are the values that are important to us.
1. Believe in God and have faith in Him
My daughter has been taught the principles of Christianity from her earliest beginnings. Our home provided the foundation for teaching my child Biblical truth. Structured family time spent reading Bible stories and praying were among the varied religious activities I engaged my daughter in from infancy. Regularly attending church and participating in age-appropriate religious classes expanded her knowledge about the Lord. This included Vacation Bible School held during the summer months. As a teenager, my daughter finds fulfillment in attending the youth group at our church. And as a family, attending church together is important.
Maintaining a relationship with the Lord has empowered my daughter to seek Him for guidance and to establish a sense of purpose in her life.
2. Represent our family name well
Because one’s reputation is extremely important in life, I have taught my daughter to honor our family name. This has enabled her to connect our unique family history with our family pride.
No matter what path she takes on her life’s journey, she will bring honor to her ancestors and her family name.
3. Have a strong work ethic
Hard work has proven to be the key to success in any endeavor that is meaningful to an individual. My daughter has grown to understand and deeply appreciate this principle.
Working hard in life has been correlated to all of her short-term and long-term goals in her life. My daughter knows with all certainty that her success throughout the varied sectors of her existence depends on the amount of quality effort she diligently puts into it.
4. Honor your parent
The Christian teachings I have continuously exposed my daughter to have been very relevant to sustaining a respectful relationship with me as her mother and only parent. By honoring me, authentic gratitude for who I am and what I am to her resides within her heart. I know she remains thankful that I am her mother.
This is aligned with my adherence to the Fifth Commandment found in Exodus 20:12 which reads “Honor your father and thy mother: that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God has given you.”
5. Respect others
Because my daughter has been taught to uphold my authority as a parent in high esteem, it has created a gateway for her to respect those who deserve to be treated with respect in her life. For example, this includes her elders, teachers, senior family members, classmates, teammates, and so many others.
Conversely, I have needed to help my daughter handle personal disrespect when it confronts her. I have had to teach my daughter to maintain a low regard for people who have had low or no tolerance for her as well as those who mistreat her. This is based on my interpretation of the Biblical context of “turning the other cheek” found in Matthew 5:38–40.
6. Speak up
Self-independence is related to one’s capacity to self-advocate.
Whether it is interacting with an educator about assignments or grades, being a consumer of a questionable brand or substandard service, or having a minor dispute with a peer, my daughter has learned the importance of protecting her best interests. The example that I have demonstrated for her continues to expand her capacity to stand up for herself verbally.
7. Dream Big
I have taught my daughter to maintain high expectations for herself. This is based on the belief that she can accomplish any goal that she establishes for herself.
I have relied on the Biblical scripture “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” found in Philippians 4:13 to encourage her to passionately pursue her dreams.
As a result of her capacity to dream, my daughter is working very hard to develop her athletic passion to become a collegiate gymnast. Additionally, she is determined to devote her educational training throughout college and beyond to becoming a medical doctor and emergency room surgeon.
My Final Thoughts
To me, family values are as unique as one’s thumbprint. What one family considers a treasured perspective or a significant tradition may not be classified as such for another family.
It is ultimately the responsibility of the parents to establish distinct values based on their specific beliefs, their background, and their attitudes. Furthermore, as a result of consistent parental guidance, their children must learn to adhere to these values and consider them sacred. This becomes possible when parents take the lead in being the first individuals who impart knowledge to their children and inspire them. As previously mentioned, I refer to this as the parent being their child’s first teacher.
Most significantly, the behaviors of mothers and fathers must reflect the values they endeavor to teach their children and teenagers. In other words, parents must be a positive example for them. This will serve as a guiding light for their children to follow. Therefore, big life lessons will be taught and learned at the same time.
Copyright © 2023 Dr. Deborah M. Vereen. All rights reserved.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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