What are levels of risk in adultery?
There are plenty. If you are wise, you don’t start down this cheating highway. You get off at the divorce exit before you are tempted to stray.
For the rest of us:
There are levels in this def-con simulation
- Normal — All is green and good.
- Double Take — Extra watch increased. Security measures are strengthened. OPSEC high alert.
- Cluster bombs — Having a spouse prove fault. “I’m having you trailed.”
- Nagasaki — Teenagers “You ruined my life!” and your kids saying “I hate you.” Little kids, “Daddy, I miss you” pull at your guilt and conscience.
- Super nukes — Vindictive wife, “I’m going to make you pay.”
NORMAL — means you haven’t aroused suspicion. Your spouse is blissfully unaware of your wrong doings. Keep the status quo. Enforce believable habits. Don’t go a-changin’ when you have been Mr. Steady before.
Don’t make your partner start looking and connecting the dots.
Why is she suddenly losing weight? Why is he spending hours out every weekend? Why is the phone constantly in their hand? Why won’t they engage like they used to?
Too many why’s and you lead to the double take.
DOUBLE TAKE — it means you have been sloppy. Too many loose ends. You need to lock it down.
Spend time with your spouse. Be attentive. Have sex if that’s what you normally do. Or don’t push for sex if you have a dead bedroom. Don’t start with sexual tricks.
“Where have you done that?” is not what you want to hear.
OPSEC (how we cover up our shady shit) high alert.
This is where push comes to shove. How much do you want the illicit sex? IF YES, stregthen all security measures from green to yellow.
CLUSTER BOMBS — This is the big guns. Surveillance. Tracking. Detectives. OR worse yet, your spouse trailing you.
You obviously brought this upon yourself. Yellow warnings didn’t work. Now you pay.
If you are unlucky enough to live in a “fault” state or country, you need to figure out where the chips lie. Do you fold and bow out? Or hand in your losses and divorce?
NAGASAKI — These early prototypes of nukes are enough to level you. “Fat man” was 10,000 pounds of force for a 22-kiloton blast.
It was enough to end World War II.
Your kids know what buttons to push in a knock-out divorce.
“You ruined our family!”
“Nothing will be the same again!”
“I never want to live with you!”
This warfare is going to be painful.
SUPER NUKES — The explosive yield of nuclear weapons has grown exponentially since 1945.
And so is the explosive retalitation of your spouse. When push comes to shove, they are “getting even.” Betrayal is a bitch. And your wife is going to atomize your life. Or your husband declares, “you’re not getting anything…”
This is nuclear winter.
Nothing will survive. But maybe your blow up isn’t as bad as you thought. Maybe it could lead to something much better.
The key is to find your own truce.
Avoid DEFCON 5 at all costs.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Josh Muller on Unsplash