Question: I bought a few sex toys to spice up my love life and now my husband won’t come anywhere near me. He says he feels intimidated and threatened. I really want to try this and I want him to be a part of it but don’t feel like fighting about it. Is there a way to get him over his ego so we can have fun!
Answer: First I love that you are willing to take action when there’s an issue. You went out and bought some sex toys to spice up your love life. Bravo!
Second, I have a sense that it’s not what you did but ‘how’ you did it… That you might be communicating in a way that’s making your husband feel intimidated or threatened. Then again it may have little to do with you and completely his own shame or guilt from the past that’s being triggered.
My sweet, I understand that you must be feeling sexually frustrated and really desiring that playful erotic connection, yes? And yet when somebody has the courage to share that they’re intimidated or threatened, telling him to “get over his ego”… well, it isn’t kind, is it?
Perhaps you’ve been sexually unfilled for quite some time and that is the intense emotion is behind your words? And perhaps he’s awareness that he’s not been fulfilling you sexually for quite some time and that shame has been buried deep within for a while?
Sexuality when it’s working can be so sacred and nourishing and enlivening and the bridge to incredible intimacy and connection and bliss, yes?
Yet when it’s not working it can be the hugest elephant in the living room, disconnecting you from the flow and easily blaming the other person for what’s not working in your life.
Sexual energy is life force energy and when it’s flowing we are our most confident and creative. Yet when it’s cut off we are often left spinning in our heads, doubting are worth, pissed off at the slightest things, yes?
I’m in Intimacy Expert, to me there’s nothing more important than intimacy, vulnerability, honesty, trust, sacred connection and communion with one’s beloved. I recommend a few things my love:
- Definitely definitely be sure to sign up for my upcoming complementary workshop for Soul Shaking Conscious Relationship Week! We want to learn to have conscious conversations that really matter, yes? You can sign up at www.AllanaPratt.com/soul-shaking
- If you’re just starting to get to know me, please have your husband go to GetHerToSayYes.com for my Complementary “How to be a noble bad ass” Men’s Training
- And please enjoy my Women’s Complementary Training found out AllanaPratt.com called “Vulnerability is the new sexy.”
- And if you’ve been following me for a while seeing the amazing results I provide for men, women and couples… then I invite the two of you go to www.AllanaPratt.com/connect and apply for a complementary strategy session. Let’s all get on the phone together and talk about what really matters in a way that’s kind and honest and heartfelt. If you’re a fit, I’d love to invite you to my family of clients through a series of phone or Skype sessions so we can turn this around for you… And not just have the sex toys spice up the bedroom, but have your intimate connection truly become so shaking and epic… It’s possible my love. We just need to show up and do the work with an open mind and open heart 🙂
So many ways to support you!
It’s my pleasure and privilege, all my love and thank you for your willingness to take action and reach out with your question.
Huge love, Allana xoxo