Eddy Baller on how to spy romance in the coffee shop.
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There she was. Beautiful, long curly hair with golden highlights. A spicy mix between Shakira and J-Lo, complete with hips that don’t lie. I was typing away, editing my next Vancity Buzz article and she walked into the cafe distracting me to the point that I couldn’t work.
My body temperature went up, and a slight sweat broke as I contemplated my next move. She was just two tables ahead of me, and the cafe staff was my audience. It had to be done, there was no other choice.
I walked up to her table, pulled out the other chair, sat down, and with a smile on my face…”I have to say something” “Oh?” She responded along with a big smile. She glanced downwards briefly at the table and looked back up, the smile still holding. “Yes, I couldn’t keep working without introducing myself to you. You look great and I cannot help but be distracted.” She was taken a back but with a positive vibe and smitten written all over her face. You could see the blood rushing to her golden cheeks. Her appeal extended beyond her looks as she spoke articulately, told me of her Latin origin, and an interesting career.
After a 10 minute conversation numbers were exchanged, and the night was charged with a new energy.
The decision to stand up and walk over was the single factor which potentially started a new romance. Making a decision to introduce yourself is exactly what you need to do next time you see your next potential lover walk into your favorite cafe.
You may be having a morning Starbucks wake up, or a late evening Cafe Artigiano top up, but no matter what time it is your next lover may be sooner than you thought. Are you up for it?
Regardless of your age, looks, or social status, if you can walk over and authentically say what’s on your mind, you can start a romance in a cafe.
Caffeine may be a Vancouver staple, but romance is the cure for the rainy weather blues.
Seven steps to a cafe romance
1) Logistics
You see her sitting down. Is she with her friends? Alone? At a large table? No chairs? Quickly glance at the area where she’s sitting so you can decided on how to approach the situation, but remember, don’t over think it. Thinking too much will waste time and allow excuses to cloud your judgement. Just decide the best way to go in but don’t dwell on it too much.
2) Make your move
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but you could walk out with a phone number in mere minutes. Now that you have the logistics handled, walk over and SIT DOWN immediately. Don’t ask for permission, just sit down and make it happen. Throw in ‘Excuse me’ as you sit down to politely get her attention.
This is where some sensitivity to body language is necessary. If she’s not interested don’t drag it out, simply wish her a good day and be on your way.
3) Who the hell are you?
She’s going to wonder right away who this bold stranger is sitting at her table. Tell her authentically why you’re there. Is it her amazing sense of fashion? Beautiful hair? Unique style? Be upfront and don’t back out half way and say “Nice shoes” or “You have a nice jacket” Be more compelling by being direct.
4) Introduce yourself
The hard part is done and she knows why you’re there. Now introduce yourself with an open palm handshake. Don’t go in all Macho Man Randy Savage with an overbearing overhand Gorilla shake. Palm up, and smile, “I’m Macho Man randy Savage. And you?”
5) Conversation
Focus all of your attention on her and don’t sit there thinking about what to say next. Let her speak most of the time, and only give her information about your self if she ask. She won’t be interested in what you have to say until she’s interested in what you have to say. Focus on her and your time will come. If you’re having trouble with conversation click here.
6) Phone number or instant date
Be the first one to end the interaction, and suggest having a coffee or drink on another day. Otherwise find out what she’s doing next, then lead by moving first and asking her to come to X place for a drink because “They have the best martini’s” Also see ‘Instant Dates’.
7) Follow up
Follow up and text her on the same day. Keep it simple and don’t try to have a big conversation by text, just set up the first date. If she likes you she will come out again. Writing a novel by text will only serve to repel her.
If you take the initiative this may be the story you tell your grandchildren in the future.
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This article originally appeared on The Ultimate Man Builder.
Photo credit: Lisa Padilla/flickr
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Oh,ugh, no no no. Do not come over and sit down at my table without permission. Who is this idiot?
🙂
“walk over and SIT DOWN immediately”
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO