Jenny Kanevsky argues for an inclusive transgender community where differences matter less than similarities.
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I believe Caitlyn Jenner, and anyone who identifies as transgender deserves space to honor that identity. There is enough woman-ness to go around, just as women who identify as male deserve space to explore what that means, be it a Vanity Fair cover spread, or a Sports Illustrated feature. And yes, those are stereotypes. Some of it is hair and make-up, but that’s not all it is. As male or male identified, it’s not just hair on your chest and virility; it is how you feel. I believe there exists, in anyone, female energy and/or male energy. I’m not a scientist. I can’t say if there is a female brain or a male brain. I do however, know my experience and what I see in others. I am a woman with what are typically defined as strong male qualities. Does that make me less of a woman, or not want to feel sexy or pretty? No. It also doesn’t make me a bitch when I am assertive and outspoken, when I lead, question, and stand up for myself. This is not about fashion; it is about the soul of who you are. Of who I am, of who Caitlyn Jenner is, and of how we must give freedom and equality to those in the transgender community.
It’s different, but oppression is oppression. You define yours and I’ll define mine, and if when coming out of that oppression, Caitlyn wants a manicure, I say “you go girl.”
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In a recent New York Times opinion piece, What Makes a Woman, Elinor Burkett explores what she describes as a clash between those transgender community who identify as women, and women, feminists and women studies advocates, who have lived their whole lives as women, had vaginas at birth, and grew up in a male-dominated society. She writes that she welcomes the transgender community into her world of women but questions their right to be the women they want to be, e.g., manicured and sexy. She sees their choices as a threat to feminism. To my mind, it is not up to anyone but the individual whether she or he feels female- or male-identified. And it is up to them how they express that identification. It is personal. Burkett also implies that the transgender community threatens the history or feminism and the struggle of women. How? First of all, there is enough struggle to go around. Did Bruce-now-Caitlyn not suffer for decades by living a lie? How is that less oppressive than how women have felt over the years, and justifiably so, for the wage gap, rape culture, sexism, and overall gender bias? What about gay men? Lesbians? Is their oppression any less or more? It’s different, but oppression is oppression. You define yours and I’ll define mine, and if when coming out of that oppression, Caitlyn wants a manicure, I say “you go girl.”
While I respect Burkett’s credentials as a woman studies scholar, and she is surely more qualified than I to speak to the history of feminism and women’s issues, I believe she does a disservice to those not living their truth by deconstructing the issue as an academic one, and as absolute.
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I have always had a strong so-called male energy. As a young girl, I was called a tomboy. I have always been outspoken, assertive, a leader. We typically associate those qualities with being male. I was also a girl, and still feel like, and in fact am, a woman.
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I have always had a strong so-called male energy. As a young girl, I was called a tomboy. I have always been outspoken, assertive, a leader. We typically associate those qualities with being male. I was also a girl, and still feel like, and in fact am, a woman. I nurture, I am maternal and I wear women’s clothes, make-up, and like to feel pretty. I also like to be taken care of (sometimes). In addition, I lead and say what’s on my mind. As an assertive woman, I have often been told to “tone it down.” I tried that. It didn’t work; It’s not who I am. In my relationships and in my career, I am both nurturing and outspoken, “feminine” and “masculine.” When those qualities clashed, typically, so did the relationship or the job. While assertive men are hailed, assertive women are “bitches” and their partners “pussy whipped.” At the same time, men who cry and talk about their feelings are looked at as not “real” men. I call bullshit. I believe there is room for everyone to be who they are and not be labeled.
Yes, I have the confidence to say what I think, despite being unpopular. Does that makes me less of a woman or, worse, a bitch? And further, if I do so with a manicure and make up, does that take away from the equality women seek and deserve? There is room for both. We can be who we are. We can look the way we feel most at home in our bodies, and we can behave and relate to others in ways that work for our hearts. And, that can be integrated into one whole person. Finally, let’s open the door for the transgender community, and thank Caitlyn Jenner, for no longer compartmentalizing who she was. Let’s be whole people.
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Be an emotive, nurturing man. Be an outspoken confident woman. And wear what makes you feel good about yourself, whether it be Paul Bunyan’s hand-me-downs, or Vanity Fair’s finest couture. It is not what you look like, it is who you are and how you identify by gender, personality trait, it’s yours and yours alone. Everyone close your eyes, don’t look at her breasts, or wonder if she’ll be nurturing. Don’t check out his ass or bank account. Just get to know the person and accept them for who they truly are, and above all, be your true self.
Photo: Associated Press
Excellent article that to me is a leading edge of thought evolution to where we are headed. I think jenner has had a catalyst moment in moving this forward whether she had any intent of that or if this was only about her. So be it I think that being who you are, assuming you can also learn that the who you are may be a false expression of learned expectations and can contemplate feedback will truly be the wave of the future and a Jumpstart for homo sapiens as a species
From one kind of male perspective, people like Caitlyn Jenner are a godsend. Think about how many men wish more women understood what it’s like to be a man in today’s world. Here is a woman who has an *excellent* insider view of what it’s like to be a man today! We men should be reaching out to her as an excellent ambassador. Just thinking in terms of male self-interest, at least.
The more we all come out and be who we are, the more we all understand that diversity is the way of the world.
I think you’re absolutely correct jed. The diversity in the animal kingdom is immense. We take our dogs for instance and they all are different both in outward appearance as well as personality and behavior, and we accept all of that with no trouble at all. But have a human show any diversity and individuality that lies out of perceived rules or roles then all sorts of nonsense comes out. Really makes no sense to me.
“I have been often told to “tone it down…”
Yup….I get in trouble for saying a lot of things….my brothers can say the same stuff out loud with impunity….at work, I have figured out that it is better to say things indirectly or in an e-mail…it softens the blow….