We want your stories. Has emotion on the job kept you or other men from being hired, promoted, or trusted?
I’ve been part of the hiring process for a lot of companies, and any time I heard this in a debrief I knew we probably would not be making the hire.
“I don’t know, might be too emotional.”
That was enough to keep anyone of either gender from getting a high level position.
But once on the job, I observed a higher tolerance for emotion when it was evidenced by a woman. It was considered “to be expected” and management was willing to overlook it to a certain extent. But from a man? Not so much.
Yet, emotion is what connects us, it’s what happens when we share experiences and we we talk about things that matter. How can a man bring 100 percent of his authentic self to his job if he isn’t permitted to display emotion?
Sadder yet are the number of male business owners and executives I’ve coached who believe it is not OK for them to show emotion to their peers, employees, or direct reports. They might make a decision because they care deeply about a cause, or a person, or a project, but they’ll school their expression and justify their decision with logic rather than display their passion and concern.
If there is anyone in business we NEED to see as human it is our leaders, how can men lead other humans if they aren’t allowed to show up as human?
So I want to ask you, what have you observed? What trends and examples have you seen? What stories and solutions can you share? What do you believe IS happening, what do you believe SHOULD happen?
The Good Men Project wants your help in highlighting the challenges and successes of men at work.
Send your submissions to me at [email protected]
Photo: Flickr/Alex France