“Don’t use sex as a weapon. Be honest with yourself and with any potential partner.”
This comment is by Reverie on the post “Dads: Talking to Your Daughter About Sex.”
“Do not use sex as a weapon or a tool to manipulate. Be honest, first with yourself and with any potential partner about your desires and limits. Understand that within the bounds of a relationship you can explore whatever you feel drawn toward, while understanding that not everyone is drawn in the same direction. When confronted with a direction that makes you uncomfortable, do not feel compelled to have to go that direction. The trick is, you have to find a way to gently but firmly say “no”. As a Father, I have assured my daughter that her sexuality belongs to her and she will figure out what makes her tick. I’m a sort of gruff, military guy but I have always tried to instill in my daughter a sense of self confidence and belief in herself and her value. Those value should never originate from a need to please others but from her core understanding of herself.
She asked me once how I would react if she dated an person from a different culture, specifically if that person were black. Being a Southern man, born and bred, it was a reasonable question. She knows that I have always expected her to respect other people and other cultures, she has not seen a plethora of Black people in my life. I told her that it was not my call to make or my life to live. I would love whoever she brought into her life. Would I be uncomfortable? Maybe. That would be MY problem and should never be her’s. It isn’t some sort of attempt at being noble on my part. I’m 55 years old. What was normal and acceptable and taboo when I grew up, should not drive her decisions.”
Photo: Jenn Durfey/Flickr