This comment was by Andrew on the post Nobody’s Victim: Putting Down the Burden of Sexual Abuse by Tim Lineaweaver
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As a male survivor, I can’t say strongly enough how real these feelings are for me, too. I particularly feel bad for men my age (50) and older, who’ve lived with our abuse story for decades, because of sanctioned stereotypes. We were never socialized to talk about our deep pains–we were raised to work, not feel.
This last year, three men from my male support group continued meeting to deeply explore our stories, beyond what 12-Step programs provide. A book emerged, Naming Our Abuse (Kregel). It uses writing as Reflective Therapy, and the metaphor of a car accident to explore four stages of our healing: The Wreck, Accident Report, Rehabilitation, and Driving Again.
My prayer is that the Delayed Admission, so common to my generation, will not be the same issue for my son’s generation. I do know this: we cannot heal what we will not name.
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