This comment was by Winter on the post The Non-Rational Divorce by Off Parent
I’m a divorced mother of two, and I absolutely agree. It wasn’t until six years of marriage and me being pregnant with our second that my ex decided he didn’t want to be a husband and father. After more than a year of hoping his mind would change, he filed for divorce and I moved out with our children. Going through the divorce, he fought only for money and assets and pushed for minimum visitation. He got what he wanted. That’s was over three years ago, and I’m very happy now, and so are our children. But our oldest is getting to where she understands that her father chose to not be a part of her life. The confusion and hurt this has caused her has made me incredibly aware how important both parents are to children. They need both. Not just one and the other for a few days a month.
There are so many fathers who ache to be a bigger part of their children’s lives, to feel like they are important for more than the check they send to support them. And those children ache for their fathers as well.
Parents mess up. The divorce process is hard. But children will always loose when parents are cut out of their lives. Some parents choose to leave their kids. But most are unwillingly separated by divorce. Courts need to start putting the child first, by setting a precedence that both parents’ time matters. Being female does not automatically make you a better caregiver.
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