This comment was by Nicola on the post How to Not let Your Kids Destroy Your Intimacy by Michael J. Russer.
Reading this made me think quite profoundly about the kind of relationship my parents had. A few years ago, my father left (coincidentally also after 26 years of marriage) and I have never blamed him, because I had seen all of this happen to him while I was growing up. Of course, I also see how it all affected my mother, both during their relationship and after, and I sympathise with both of them. Having children changes the whole dynamic of a relationship; suddenly, there is this other person there who demands so much time and attention – and no matter how much you prepare, it will always come as a surprise.
I think that your advice – to make time for each other and ‘date’ once a week – is really important. Being a child from a similar relationship, I can see how much myself and my sister affected our parents’ relationship with each other, and while I know it isn’t my fault (or hers) I know that we contributed to a damaging situation for both of our parents. My parents both worked full time, they had very little free time for my sister and I, let alone each other. So I think it’s really important that you’ve written this article to highlight the problem.
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