Comment of the Day was by D, on the post “A Message to Women, It’s Not Us vs. Men“
As a nearly-thirty-year-old man, the sea change in gender roles, expectations, and interactions can be disconcerting. I’ve never felt threatened by it, regardless of whether or not I ever should, but I often feel lost. As if I’ve parachuted into the wilderness with food and water, but instead of a map, I found a post-it note that reads, “walk for two days in any direction and you’ll reach civilization”. I’m not worried about surviving, but I have no idea which way I should go.
Masculinity and femininity must be real, I think – an innate quality much like sexual orientation; we know it exists, even if we can’t quantify it. Otherwise, gender identity would be fluid, because the attributes we perceive as “masculine” and “feminine” are constantly evolving.
The part that troubles me is that whenever someone asks, “how would you define masculinity” or “what does it mean to be a man”… I have no answer. Any quality that I start to write down, I then scratch out, because it seems equally applicable to modern femininity: Provider, Protector, Caretaker, Mentor, Leader. Anyone can become those things.
I believe that I understand enough of what it means to be an “adult” to know what kind of world I want to live in. One that allows women and men, and possibly whales, to exist as equals.
But what do I know about being a man?
If I come up with something, I’ll get back to you.
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Photo: Paleontour / flickr