Rahim Rajar’s stunningly honest confession from his home in Pakistan.
This is my confession, being a male chauvinist, to all females and fellow chauvinists out there to tell them what is wrong with me. I will discuss a few possible reasons why I am a chauvinist and what I have lost. I am representative of all male chauvinists who realize they have some problem with females.
Before plunging into the topic let’s look at the term: A male chauvinist is described as “a man whose behaviour and attitude toward women indicate a belief that they are innately inferior to men.” I used to think that all men were intellectually superior to women and as a result did not treat women as fairly as they should be treated. We need to keep in consideration that I had been raised in a society where it was deeply ingrained in men that females were inferior to males. Not only males believe this to be true, but also females, particularly uneducated women—and they also happily accept it.
This upbringing (with manipulated religious teachings) also shaped such thinking. To better understand my premise I spoke with a lot of religious people. A significant number of them believed that women were inferior beings. Some of them would deny it, but after a conversation for some time you get a sense of male superiority. I believe that it is not problem with religions per se, but that it is a problem with many men who are mostly running the church.
I would say it has become more a culture and subsequently a cultural problem. For centuries we have taken females for granted. They served only the purposes of sex and procreation, resulting in patriarchy. Boys are raised with the mentality that they are strong, they are told not to cry like a female. Even cartoons and films teach them that they have to go and save a princess. How many of these cartoons and films we know, where females are portrayed strong, wise, equal and fighting for society just as men? Certainly a very small percentage.
If you ask most of us, we would speak of gender equality. But in reality our definition of gender equality is conditional. We are liars no matter if we are husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers, sons, or religious clerics no matter how educated we are. Most of us are the same in our views, but very few have the guts to admit that we are male chauvinists and there is something wrong with us. Many of us are incapable of having a loving and healthy relationship with a woman.
I confess that I believed females, most if not all, were intellectually inferior to men. I did not like their management in work and involvement in decision making both at home and at work. I found it difficult to work under any female as my boss or as a team member. I had a few other weird thoughts, such as they were after men’s possessions, and following their advice would lead to trouble. Sometime I used to joke with my friends that if there were no females then world would have been a better place.
Sometime our male chauvinism is due to a lack of meaningful interaction with females. After my real interaction with females I reached a conclusion that there is a difference between male and female psychology, and despite such difference they completed each other and we were equal.
I would also confess that I pretend to be a strong guy but in fact there were some females in my life who cherished and made me strong from the inside. They all were amazingly loving: my grandma, mother, sisters, aunts, friends and ones who cared for me in any capacity. My mother is the lady who cherished me most but the one I missed most is my grandma who would make me lie beside her, caress me and pour words of wisdom in my head. A memory of her is always a comfort and sign of hope for me.
No matter what we do and how many men we consult, there is real emotional support that comes from females who know us in any capacity. Even a tender touch or a simple sweet voice can comfort us. They fill our lives and this world with beauty and tranquility.
I am thinking to myself why are we in Pakistan so prejudiced against women? There is certainly some problem in our thinking. Maybe it’s time for us to realize there is something wrong with us. Maybe it is time for us to realize and to take off the mask. Why take a pride in thing which actually has nothing sound in it? The least we can do is give the women around us a chance to prove their worth through equality, love and respect.
photo Shaun Metcalfe / Flickr