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Are you wondering how to have that conversation with your son about playing tackle football?
Perspectives from these two highly involved parents might help.
We talked with Anthony and Cassandra McReynolds of Boise, Idaho. Cassandra and Anthony are the parents of three boys. Anthony also coaches their competitive baseball, AAU basketball and flag football teams.
Q: What is your background when it comes to football?
Cassandra: “While I don’t have family that played football to any impressive extent, I was literally born into football. I was born on a Monday night after a Steelers vs. Raiders game (December 7, 1981). My mom joked that since the doctor and my dad were huge Steelers fans, she was considerate enough to wait until the game was over to give birth to me. Since then I’ve always loved the Steelers.”
Anthony: “I grew up in a very small logging town of 3,000 people in western Washington. Our school was so small (My graduating class had less than 100 kids.) that virtually every kid played every sport. I never played football but I played almost every other sport. Sports were really the only social activity available in such a small town; they were an excuse for dads to leave work early for games, town-wide bake sales were organized to sponsor tournaments, pep rallies were held on Main Street for the high school football team prior to home games … you get the idea.”
Q: So the two of you got married, then what happened?
Cassandra: “When Anthony and I were expecting our first child, a boy, we started buying sleepers and blankets with the customary sports symbols you find for baby boys. My husband then informed me, ‘The baby can play any sport he wants except football.’
Huh?
What dad doesn’t dream of their son being the star football player?!
Perplexed, I asked him why. His answer was simple. ‘I don’t want him getting hurt. Especially his brain. You can put a cast on a broken leg but you can’t fix a brain.’
I had never given a single thought to football players’ brains until then. I just assumed that they wear helmets, so they’re safe.
Fast forward to 2012. We now have THREE sons. The oldest two are extremely athletic. They live and breathe for sports. We are THAT family that never has a free weekend ten months out of the year because SPORTS. They started flag football at age six and LOVED it. Compound that with the fact that they’re naturally skilled and their love of football began.”
Anthony: “I love being a sports dad, especially the coaching and competition associated with it. Our whole family is very competitive and sports oriented; but not to the exclusion of everything else. I want my children to do their homework, read for fun, ride their bikes, show mom the snakes they caught, and play some video games. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m instilling in them a competitive fire; a drive that when you do something, especially as part of a team, you give 100% effort and passion and you help everyone else around you to be better. But at the end of the day, I still want them to be CHILDREN.”
Q: But eventually your oldest son asked, “Mom, Dad, can I play tackle football?”
Cassandra: “Yes. As soon as our oldest hit age eight he asked to play tackle football. Eight is the age that our local tackle league allows kids to start. We told him no. We told him it’s dangerous. That sufficed until he got older and wiser and started asking the tough questions. Why? Why? Why? What’s wrong with football? Why do you love the Steelers and watch every game but I can’t play? Why?
As luck would have it, about the time he started the tough questions the movie Concussion came out and information about CTE became more widespread. Watching Concussion scared both of our older boys. Our middle son said he would never play tackle after watching Concussion. He’s taken to baseball and never looked back.
But our oldest? His love of football runs deeper. Basketball is a close second but HE LOVES FOOTBALL. Even after watching Concussion he still wanted to play. It’s only been the past year or two that he’s accepted he won’t play tackle football and admitted that he no longer wants to.”
Anthony: “I try to teach my boys that all the choices we make are value propositions. What is the potential value of this choice weighed against its cost?
Putting that formula to use with the tackle football question is very effective. What can playing tackle football provide little Billy that he cannot get elsewhere? Are the risks associated with tackle vs flag (or another sport) worth the potential payoff of … what? Little Billy playing because you played? He looks adorable in the pads?”
Q: Did you have any help in getting your sons to decide?
Cassandra: “We took our oldest son for a well child visit and let his pediatrician explain why no kids should play tackle football. She drew pictures and explained things and frankly, since she’s not either one of his parents, her opinion automatically meant more.
The pediatrician also went into great detail about how many brain injuries she treats in youth football players and how the consequences last much longer than a week or two of rest.
Second, we’re lucky that our oldest is an infinite knowledge seeker. We let him read everything he could about CTE. We let him learn about the human brain and how it differs so much from a woodpecker or a ram. Just the Anatomy 101 of brain differences made him see how much the human brain simply isn’t made for being battered.
We also demonstrated to him how helmets do little to nothing to protect the brain. Skull fractures, yes. Brain damage, no.”
Q: Then you did something with two eggs …
Cassandra: “Yes. I took two eggs and demonstrated something. The first one I cracked open like normal and showed him the whole yolk. That was the brain that never played football. The second egg I shook and shook and cracked just like the first egg. The yolk was scrambled. I explained to him that even though I didn’t break the shell (skull) the yolk (brain) still got ruined because of the battering I did from shaking it. That was an AHA! moment.”
Q: Anthony, you coach flag football. But isn’t flag football just for “sissies”?
Anthony: “I absolutely love flag football! It fosters in the children a level of finesse and an understanding of game theory that you just don’t see on the traditional gridiron. Every position is a ‘skill’ position and just as likely to see action in that snap as any other position.
I love the finesse that flag requires; the precise route running, the necessity of grabbing the flag without wrapping up the opposing player, getting around the blocks (basically a basketball screen) without being able to go through the kid. No ‘checking’ at the line of scrimmage or tying anyone up. It’s about learning to read spacing on the field and how to make your body react accordingly. All of this happens in a non-contact environment. Certainly with any sport there is going to be some contact, we liken our contact level to basketball with screens and blocks, and man-to-man defense.
I have coached 14 flag football teams and I’ve made my stance very clear to every parent whose child I’ve coached: with all of the benefits they get from playing flag football, children have no business playing tackle football.”
Q: But don’t you get pushback from those parents?
Anthony: “Yes. Their inevitable response will take one of two routes:
- “I’m not too worried about the concussions because … [insert justification here].”These parents are acknowledging that they’ve seen the tip of the iceberg – they’ve heard the noise surrounding youth tackle. They don’t seem to care or believe that there’s an iceberg dead ahead. The important part of this answer is to let them know that concussions are only part of the issue – it is the literally hundreds of sub-concussive hits to the head during practices and games that needs to be an area of greater parental focus. A lot of these youth tackle leagues around the country do not limit the amount of full contact or pads practice – even the NCAA and NFL limit the number of hits players are exposed to. You really think that the guy down the street volunteering to coach is counting the number of snaps in practice your child knocked his helmet against another kid’s?
- “You can’t wrap ‘em in bubble wrap, they could just as easily get hurt riding a bike or playing basketball.”This type of answer is the most common. And they’re 100% correct! As long as we’re using the word ‘hurt’ to mean a temporary boo-boo, a treatable injury and not undetectable damage to the most complex and temperamental biological construct in existence. If you’re playing hard basketball or taking your bike off a sweet jump you could easily sprain an ankle or break a wrist. And neither one of those injuries will permanently change the core of who you are or put you at risk for early onset diseases typically associated with the elderly.
- At this point in time, in the era of liability waivers, Google, social media, and mainstream media, not understanding the inherent risks of youth tackle football puts a parent in one of two camps: blatant denial or willfully ignorant.”
Q: What happens when you ask the parents why they still want their son to play tackle football?
Anthony: ‘I typically get one of three types of answers:
- “It’s the next step/level up from flag football.” This one bugs me the most! Next step to what?
- “Well, they really want to.” This is a cop-out answer. Have some self-respect as a parent and tell them ‘No.’ (It’s okay, I promise.)
- “I played all the way up through [whenever/wherever] and I’m fine.” I’m happy for you – I truly am! I sincerely hope that you stay that way. I’m also certain that your parents would have given that choice a second thought if they had the information available to them then that you do now.
I then explain the concept of repetitive subconcussive hits and their impact on the developing brain. I’ll let concussions and compound fractures speak for themselves. I try to get this parent to understand that the human brain is not meant to do be jostled around in the skull. I will use the egg metaphor my wife described or show them images of brains diagnosed with CTE postmortem or explain the suspicion of increased risk of degenerative diseases.”
Q: The two of you are obviously very passionate about this.
Cassandra: “We always tell our boys that our only job as parents is to make them into great men. A big part of that is ensuring their health and safety. That means telling them no to contact sports. It’s indisputable that tackle football causes brain damage. I simply won’t do that to them and their future. I love them too much. Their brains make them who they are and I can’t imagine a world where their amazing minds and spirits are shattered.”
Anthony: “Denying the possibility of lasting or catastrophic harm doesn’t make the risk go away. Let’s say that brain injury wasn’t an issue. Let’s say that kids just need to ‘get their bell rung’ a couple of times and they’ll get used to it. Well, I still wouldn’t let them play. Tackle does not provide any value that cannot be achieved elsewhere, but it does needlessly increase the risk of lasting injury. It’s not worth it.
The reality is that multiple sub-concussive hits to the head WILL damage the brain, maybe enough to change who your child is and how they develop, how they grow up. It may affect their relationships, career, emotional range … or it might not. Seems like an empty gamble to me.”
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Photo credit: Pixabay