We hold calls with The Good Men Project community 5 days a week. We hope you’ll become a member and join in.
I want to start by saying that the calls have been exceptional lately. We are getting 15+ people on them. It seems to me that everyone who wants to talk gets a chance too. If you are new and feel like it is difficult to get into the flow of
We will be having a workshop on Wednesday April 21 about learning advanced writing skills.
It is part of our Rising Stars class series, designed to give you the skills you need to create an online writing platform.
The advanced class talks about how to get from an ‘intermediate’ to an ‘advanced’ skill level — no matter what skill you are trying to master. It also goes deep into common writing problems and how to recognize and solve them.
I have two things I want to talk about today. The first is a question from a reader and follower of the Good Men Project, Kevin Pellon. Kevin writes.
“Love this Good Men Project. I also see and going through an unwanted divorce it is difficult, especially having two beautiful young girls, 7 and 9. I see lots of articles about amazing women leaders and juggling parenthood, but not many on Good Men Project are great dads. Will you do any stories or features?”
And I responded: “Hi Kevin! All our stories are contributor based. So it really is just whatever is flowing through at the time. We do have a lot of dads who blog, and we always showcase great dads when we can. Our Sunday newsletter is almost all about dads, and Father’s Day is our biggest day of the year! Thanks so much for reaching out.”
And we have Dads who write about all the joys of dads and men weekly! Here are just some that write blogs, create videos, or make podcasts–often every single week: Shannon Carpenter, Taylor Garcia, Jeremy Barnes, David Valdes, Jason Kreidman, Mark Johnson, and Scott Davison. And many more join in from time to time. But after sending that reply, it struck me that times are changing. We used to have a whole contingent of Dad bloggers — Dad blogging used to be “a thing”. I remember when dads on social media used to be talking about their kids ALL the time, totally upending the stereotype that men only talk about sports and sex. Or that men were afraid to talk about their kids because it would make them seem as if they were not as committed to financial success and business. I don’t see those same guys on social media as much. Father’s Day truly is still one of our highest traffic days of the year — but we should be having discussions about dads and families every week. Not sure what the change is, but if anyone has ideas, I’d love to hear them.
The second topic I want to discuss is from a post that got submitted to us on Medium. For those who don’t know — we have 5 publications on Medium: Hello Love (relationships), A Parent Is Born (parenting), Change becomes You (advice), Equality Includes You (Social Justice) and Greener Together (environment).
This post submitted to us is about bullying, titled “Why Has Bullying Endured?”
And the part of this post that struck me was this:
Research shows that bullies have high self-esteem, are less empathic, and less agreeable people, who use bullying to access or hold on to power.
This goes against the narrative of “hurt people hurt people”.
There IS evidence to suggest that women who are victims are more likely to become victims and men who are victims go on to become perpetrators — but it is trend data only, not a hard and fast rule.
I’m going to read you two short paragraphs from the article:
For many years researchers wanted to believe that bullies are just hurt people that do not have the skills to express themselves. Yes, for a percent of bullies this is true. Some children come from a violent environment or are themselves victims of bullying and had to develop a hard shell to be able to protect themselves. This would almost be the best-case scenario because there is a chance to rehabilitate these children. If what they lack are social skills, emotional regulation abilities, self-awareness, they can be taught these skills.
Yet, this is not always the case. Research shows that bullies have high self-esteem, are less empathic, and less agreeable people, who use bullying to access or hold on to power. They feel confident using aggression, believe aggression is an acceptable way of behaving, and have an overall positive view of aggressive behaviors.
When bullying occurs, someone needs to intervene. This can be authority figures or peers. But the key is — people have to recognize bullying behavior, know what to do, and step up and take action, every time. The article goes on to say “We cannot sparingly talk about empathy, tolerance, and kindness, and expect bullying will go away. It will not.”
And the reason this is so important to me is because we need to understand: Racism is a form of bullying. Sexism is a form of bullying. LGBTQ harrassment or pushback is a form of bullying. And it is really important to recognize all of these different forms of bullying and push back against them.
Ok, I am going to open the call up now to our community. Thank you for being a part of this.
Listen to the recording to hear what the rest of our community has to say!
Our calls have been SO good lately. New people, long time callers. Filled with insights.
Quick recap of the calls we have 5 days per week:
Love, Sex & Relationships, hosted by Kat Starr – Mondays 8 pm EST/ 5 pm PST
StopRacism, hosted by Ashok Selvam – Tuesdays 8 pm EST/ 5 pm PST
Social Activism, hosted by Amanda Vining – Wednesdays 8 pm EST/ 5 pm PST
Climate change by elements, co-hosted by Thaddeus Howze and Carol Bluestein Thursdays 8 pm EST/ 5 pm PST
And of course, the Friday Call with the Publisher with me, Lisa Hickey, publisher of the Good Men Project Fridays at 3 pm EST / Noon PST
This post is republished on Medium.
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