I’m 41 years old. I was on news and sports talk radio for ten years. I am a college graduate. I’m a graduate of the world’s finest coach training program (and a pretty darn difficult program at that.) I’ve been a practicing coach for two years. I’m a brilliant writer and I’m getting better with every word. And by the end of 2018 I’m going to be a two-time published novelist.
To say nothing of being a weekly columnist for this fine publication for close to two years.
You can design your life to be any way you want it to be. You can date who you want to date. You can marry who you want to marry. You can make the kind of money you want to make.
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And I have never been called this in my entire life.
It should be noted, the person who called me this was an absolutely adorable adult female human named Aspen, “like the trees, not like the ski lifts.”
She was a waitress at a bar in NYC’s Grand Central which I visited this past Monday night.
Now, let’s rewind…y’know, a lot. I haven’t always been able to strike up easy conversations with attractive adult female human beings.
Or “women” as they’re colloquially known.
Hell, I haven’t always been able to strike up conversations with anyone with ease before.
But the times, they are a-changin’.
Or should I say – the times are a-transformin’. Because it isn’t change, that’s for sure. #lifecoachjokes
Before our conversation, she was passing by the bar and asks me “how are you today?”
“I’m doing great!” I said with energy.
She was legitimately taken aback.
“Wow! I love your enthusiasm.”
Eventually when she came to talk to me, she asks me what I did for a living. And when I told her I was a coach, here was her response.
“No wonder you have such a bubbly personality.”
I want you to imagine something with me.
Have you ever heard an entire line of cars squeal to a stop at the same time? Like a bunch of NASCAR stock cars slamming on their brakes and going from 180 to 0.
You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down here?
I’m just saying, that seriously caught me off guard. All those squealing brakes in my soul…
What in the blue hell did she mean? Me? Bubbly?
As far as I still see myself, I’m still that shy, quiet, reserved kid who was scared to talk to anyone. Hell, I washed out as a journalist because I was scared to talk to people.
I mean, my Myers/Briggs score is IIII!
Quadruple I’s!
Yeah, I know. That’s not possible. It’s called metaphor!
“No wonder you have such a bubbly personality.”
Aspen’s acknowledgement got me thinking… or overthinking as is my wont.
Could I – the ultimate introvert – be becoming… I can’t believe I’m about to type these words…
Am I becoming an extrovert?
{Insert melodramatic music sting here}
This was never my intention, but I’m so grateful the way things are turning out.
To illustrate my point, here are some things I’ve taken on just in the past four months.
- I was able to introduce myself to a bunch of strangers in a bar before my Alabama Crimson Tide played their Championship Game. Granted, while they were all members of the Church of the Crimson Tide, they were still strangers to me.
- I delivered a presentation to a group of business owners in Westchester County that went very well and yielded me some business.
- I got accepted into a prestigious writer’s conference where I’ll be giving my first ever public reading of my new book. And in New York Freakin’ City at that!
- And to get accepted to the conference, I had to have a phone interview with the assistant director of the Writer’s Hotel conference – a prominent author himself.
- I’m getting terrific feedback on the Be a King One of my previous guests – a damn good interviewer in her own right – called me an “amazing interviewer.”
- In mid-May, I’m going to be having another public speaking event in Westchester County. I’m partnering with a man in my Thursday morning networking group on a “How to get you hired in the right job” seminar. And apparently someone associated with Garth Brooks’ band is going to play. No confirmation on that yet.
- And I just completed an improv acting class. And I intend to take another one.
These are things where I’m front and center and with all the spotlight on me.
“No wonder you have such a bubbly personality.”
I just spent over 600 words setting up the punchline to this article.
Ready for the punchline?
Your purpose is to clear out the rubble from past wounds, to clear the path for you to be the man you know you are and to be the man your world needs you to be.
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You can design your life to be any way you want it to be. You can date who you want to date. You can marry who you want to marry. You can make the kind of money you want to make.
You can create your magnum opus!
Here’s how you do it.
Admittedly, I’ve come upon this after taking on this healing journey I’ve been on in recent times. The journey I’ve illustrated here for the world to see.
The purpose of this journey has been to clear out rubble from past wounds to clear the path for me to be the king I know I am. And to be the king my world needs me to be.
In other words, owning my life from being a grown man instead of a little boy,
“That’s all well and good, Ryan. How can I get there?”
Four steps to create the life you deserve
Start where you are and take these four steps. Will these steps work for everybody? Nope. But you won’t know until you take them on.
I mean, they worked for me… and they ARE working for me.
Trust the process, yo.
1.Know what you want from life
Do you want a successful business? Do you want to double your income? Do you want to date and fall in love with the person of your dreams? Do you want to create a life you can be proud of? Know what you want but be able to quantify what you want!
2.Know what you need
Sometimes this can get tricky for me. But being in touch with what you need can absolutely set you up to create the life you deserve, and the life you crave. Do you need love? Do you need partnership? Do you need connection? Do you need a hug? Do you need to get laid? Know what you need, and that can help you get what you want.
3.Get complete!
How many times do I need to say this? Get complete! Heal your open wounds. Make amends where you need to make amends. And get complete. Forgive! C’mon, have the last few weeks in this space taught you nothing?
4.Get supported!
And yes, this means hire a coach. Get someone to keep your feet burning (cuz, they hold them to the fire) and stand for you to live the life of a king.
I’m taking on four new clients over the next month. I want to help four kings get fitted for their crown.
Email me at [email protected] to schedule your free sample session.
“Soul work is not a high road. It’s a deep fall into an unforgiving darkness that won’t let You go until you find the song that sings you home.” – McCall Erickson
If you think that radical transformation is easy, it ain’t. It isn’t even in the same ballpark as easy.
But it’s not supposed to be easy!
But if you trust yourself, trust your circle, and do the work to radically transform your life – there is no limit to your greatness!
And if you want to be called bubbly by an adorable New York cocktail waitress, then you go on with your bad, bubbly self!
Photo by Joris Louwes