Guys, if you’re tired of being single, you’re going to want to check out this spot-on dating advice.
Want to know the secrets to increasing your magnetism with women? In my weekly podcast, Last First Date Radio, I share valuable tips about how to attract and sustain healthy relationships after 40. I interview top experts and cutting edge authors. My guest, David Bennet and his twin brother, Jonathan, devoted many years of research studying the science of attraction, which led to the following practical dating advice for men.
What are some of the biggest issues for men over 40?
Men don’t think of being attractive as a science. Dating seems mysterious and there’s nothing they can do about it. If your car wasn’t running well, you’d go to a mechanic. But if you are having trouble dating or in relationships, many men just get mad at women. They might say, “women are mean” or “there are no good women.” It’s important to recognize that there’s a problem and you can improve your attractiveness, which will improve your dating success.
What are practical tips that any man can do to be more attractive?
Put your best foot forward. Attraction occurs within the older parts of our brain. Chemistry is felt even when a person is terrible for you. You can override that. What we suggest is to study what someone who’s successful with women is doing right. Check out other guys’ online dating profile photos and come up with your own decent profile pic. Men in sleeveless shirts and motorcycles are dressing to impress other men, not women. Studies have shown that women like when men are not looking straight at the camera but a little in the distance.
What’s the biggest mistake in dating over 40?
The biggest mistake is you believe men and women think and act the same way. Men develop their body to impress women instead of their personality. Talking to women helps you understand women better.
Also study the research. A new study just came out: men prefer women who compliment them a lot. Women don’t like too many compliments. When you write a message to a women, keep it confident and leave them curious to know more.
What’s your best dating advice for men over 40?
Put the best spin on your life. Let women see things in your life from the best possible point of view. Set the frame, set the tone. Body language is a key thing, too.
How you walk into a room, sit, etc. Make your voice a little deeper if you can, and speak from the diaphragm. Walk in to meet your date like you own the place. Make sure your head is up, walk slowly, chest out. Look comfortable in the space.
Another tip is at a bar, notice when a guy has a drink covering his chest. That’s a body block. What you’re saying is “I’m afraid, I’m protecting myself”. When you’re sitting: relaxation conveys confidence. Open up your body. Spread your stuff out and take up a little more space. Put your arm around an empty chair. Seems animalistic to claim the space, but it makes you look confident.
When I was younger, I blamed women for being mean when I didn’t have success with them. What I learned is I had to accept responsibility for my part in relationships and improve my dating skills. If you want to be rich and you never work hard, learn about what makes people rich and how to improve your work ethic, you probably won’t be rich, and you don’t deserve to be rich.
Same with attraction. Work at it. Take care of your body and style, but work on your personality more. It’s something you can change. When you work on these skills, you will have a greater love for life and a better life in general.
What’s your best dating advice for men? Your biggest struggle? Please share your comments below.
To listen to the interview and hear more great dating advice for men (and women) over 40, click here.
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A version of this article first appeared in LastFirstDate.com
Photo:Flickr/Pedro Ribeiro Simões