Wil Wheaton talks about how he is learning to live with depression rather than live through depression.
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Depression is like living in a room that was so loud that all I could do was just deal with the loudness of the room. Then I found a door out of the room… and the loudness of the room was not oppressing me anymore. Wil Wheaton
Mental illness is like driving your car with a crack in the window. We get used to the crack and we look past it because that is all that we know. We notice the cracks in the windows around us and assume that is how glass is supposed to be. That is, until we get help and our lens is restored.
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Wil Wheaton is an actor, writer and producer. He also lives with generalized anxiety and clinical depression. He describes how for years, he thought that the way he views the world was the way everyone sees the world, because that was normal for him.
In a way, mental illness is like driving your car with a crack in the window. We get used to the crack and we look past it because that is all that we know. We notice the cracks in the windows around us and assume that is how glass is supposed to be. That is, until we get help and our lens is restored.
Wheaton describes what he discovered as being profound. Like life opened up to him.
I was on my way to having a normal life. Normal for me was changing, it wasn’t constantly worrying about things, constantly giving up on things… I was going to be able to experience things and just be a person. I’m learning how to live life with depression rather than live life through depression.
He makes a profound statement that bears repeating: “I’m learning how to live life with depression rather than live life through depression.” It is like the difference between understanding when you have depression and when depression has you.
Wheaton found help by consulting with his doctor and Psychiatrist. Getting the proper help can change your outlook and change your life.
Our chemistry, our experience, our relationships… sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s hard. As long as you are doing what you can to take care of yourself and to leave every day a little kinder than it started, things are going to be alright.
Our cracks are very real and often painful. How we heal can lead to greater strength and increased value.
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Our cracks are very real and often painful. How we heal can lead to greater strength and increased value. For more on how our cracks lead to our healing, see my post, To Heal You Must Become The Art.
If you live with depression or any other mental illness, what is your experience like? I hope to see you in the comments.
Keep it Real
Photo by Dennis Crowley
I’ve lived with depression since at least my early teen years 28 (gasp!) years ago. Have been in therapy off and on for the last 15 years (on now) and have tried meds, to no avail. I have no idea what the world and my thoughts would look like without the cracks. Must be nice, even to only experience depression every couple of months, instead of daily like me. It sucks.
Max, Your story is moving. Mental illness is more than a grind or a marathon. It defies description. You can replace a window, but depression can often be difficult to completely lift. Each person’s experience with depression is different, and it certainly sounds like you are suffering. you are not alone.
Even a few months of depression is difficult, but a lifetime must feel like a long, slow and painful experience. There is hope and there can be better days ahead. I hope you find some light.
I have been seeing a psychiatrist every couple of months and taking an anti-depressant for maybe two decades now. I have probably had clinical depression most of my life. My family doctor could treat the occasional panic attacks I would have but depression seems to require a psychiatrist, at least in my case. The family doctor would prescribe medication to get me past a really bad period of depression then stop the medication as soon as I was doing better. The psychiatrist tells me that I will probably have to take medication the rest of my life. Two pills once… Read more »
John,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad that you are feeling some relief. Depression can be a trial and may not lift for some. Keep moving toward the light.
Sean
Thank you for a well written depiction of what depression is for so many of us. I’ve suffered with clinical depression since being diagnosed in 2006. I suffered before I sought help as well, but thinking it was just a bad time I was going through until it affected my job, marriage and everything in my life. I’ve been to many psychiatrists, counselors, etc., over all these years. Almost 10 years now, which at 55 seems like a lifetime. Never having had much or any support from family, spouse, and few friends has caused it to be more disabling to… Read more »
Nancy, Wow. What a story. In my experience, isolation is like gasoline. Isolation seems to magnify our mental illness. You describe the challenges so well. I struggle with support as well. But that is the point, the struggle is important. The struggle is part of our recovery or our coping with the illness.
Keep at it. Thank you again for your touching story.
Well written. I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and put on an antidepressant. Weeks later it was like a cloud lifted away from me. I felt like I was present again instead of floating through my days. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was out of it.
PJ,
Thank you. Welcome back and I am glad the cloud has lifted. Keep moving and thank you for sharing your story.
I am curious whether it was more than the antidepressants that caused the fog to lift?
Honestly, I’m not sure. I tried a lot of natural ways to feel better before medication. I worked out, spent time with friends, are well and kept busy w work. Those things didn’t work.