Who am I? What will I become? Answering these questions is part of trusting ourselves and directing our behavior to continue learning by going beyond lessons learned.
Most people ride around in bodies that are driven by images of the past, treated as if they continue to occur. We call it memory, learned behavior, or conditioning. We have learned to drive our bodies (and cars), while our awareness is absorbed with the content of our minds–words, images, imaginings, remembrances, etc.
Fortunately, we can wash the dishes, listen to our spouses and children, go to the toilet, while our awareness is focused elsewhere. But is this how we actually desire to live our lives? Do we expect to find fulfillment by existing in partial awareness? Is our nature to share only part of ourselves—not the whole–in these moments?
Imagine (if you will0 a world where trees acted like humans and paid attention to their imaginings rather than the real, unfolding moment. We might see trees swaying in the breeze when there is no breeze, while the tree next to it stands totally still. We might see one tree dropping its leaves, while another decides to develop new buds in the fall. Others, yet, may begin to slow down, turning their leaves the color of dying beauty.
We live our lives as awareness inhabiting forms, which constantly change. Our nature keeps track of the changes; therefore, we might adapt and adjust to changes that are unhealthy or painful. Staying alive and enjoying life count on our memories. But what about when we stop giving attention to these unfurling moments and observe, instead, our pasts, which taught us to fear and avoid? What happens when we read the life we live as images, feelings, and thoughts that are no longer real, but rather memories that obscure the real life of which we are made?
With these words, I ask and encourage you to consider your intention as a parent. Who do you choose to be as your ‘ideal self’, right now? Think for a moment of a personality quality you trust and value enough to select as a self-guiding principle. There is no limit to choosing to be kind…generous…honest…patient. We are all in a choice-making place in every moment. We are choosing, becoming choice.
The question asked here is are you learning from your current experience how to be more of your choice, or are you being led by lessons of fear and avoidance that prevent you from learning and growing?
Though we are never-ending change and choice, we are also rooted in experience. Balancing between the two is a commitment to growth, to expanding loving understanding.
What’s Next? Talk with others. Take action.
We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join below!
Join the Conscious Intersectionality FACEBOOK GROUP here. Includes our new call series on Human Rights.
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.
Register New Account
Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request a new password if needed).
ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops, and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. MEMBER commenting badge.
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
Photo credit: By designer491 @ iStock by Getty Images