
It seems as if every men’s self-improvement guru is regurgitating the same harmful advice in 2023;
“Don’t Chase Women, Chase Success.”
Desperate men are now being told to IGNORE women throughout their 20s and focus on building wealth.
You may have seen this repackaged as ‘Monk Mode’ or ‘Sigma Male Grindset’.
Either way, the guys who follow this advice are likely to end up even more miserable.
Money Won’t Buy You Real Love
Yes, it’s important for men to chase success. Money will make their life easier. But it won’t solve their dating problems on its own.
Let’s imagine a lonely man with poor social skills following ‘Monk Mode’ earns $1 million from an online business.
Maybe his status as a millionaire will fix his confidence issues.
But he’d still have no idea how to approach women, start conversations, flirt or be the life of the party. He’ll still be a 30-something with poor social skills and no romantic experience.
Only gold diggers and sugar babies will be interested in this guy.
To attract a well-adjusted woman who loves him for him, he’ll still have to learn these social skills.
When men lead with money, it comes across as too try-hard. These men can only attract women who only want their money.
That’s why so many tech nerds, doctors and entrepreneurs invest big money in dating coaching.
Money alone can’t buy them love.
I Spent Years ‘Chasing’ Women — And Here’s What Happened
Back in 2014, I was a lonely heartbroken 20-something who went a year without landing a date.
Instead of trying to earn more money, I went on a journey to improve my personality.
I watched videos on how to flirt with women, then went out to practice what I’d learned.
I spent years approaching women, flirting and learning from my mistakes. The more women I approached, the better I got at it. Ultimately, I was able to maximize my seduction skills and attract hundreds of amazing women into my life.
As I’m still earning less than the average UK salary, we can assume they liked me for my personality.
I was the one approaching these women. I invited them on dates. Manosphere gurus would call that ‘chasing’ women. But, so what? Isn’t it a man’s job to make the initial approach?
An average man has to make the first move. If he waits for a beautiful woman to approach him, he’ll be waiting a long time.
Only incredibly high-status men can get away with waiting for women to talk to them. And they’d still need some level of charisma to seal the deal.
Personal Relationships Are Key To Your Happiness
My journey of improving with women taught me life-changing skills.
- I overcame my social anxiety.
- I discovered how to quickly build rapport with strangers.
- I became incredibly comfortable with who I am.
- I learned how to manage my emotions so I can have fun and be happy almost all the time.
And, yes, I got very good at attracting women.
These skills led me to quit my job and travel the world solo. I now work as a freelance dating writer, seducing women and making friends wherever I go.
If I took the ‘monk mode’ route instead, perhaps I’d be earning six figures instead of five. But I’d still feel anxiety and resentment around women. I’d still have personal insecurities. I’d still be unable to let go and have fun at social functions. Plus, I would have had no meaningful relationships with women for YEARS.
Our personal relationships are one of the biggest factors affecting our happiness. If you’re a man who can’t attract women, you’re probably going to be miserable until you fix that.
It’ll be a lot tougher for the followers of ‘monk mode’ to succeed in business with no social skills and their mental health in tatters.
Monk Mode Is A Cope
Making money and attracting women don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
I was out approaching women, building a freelance writing career and working a full-time job at the same time.
If you manage your time, you can chase women and success!
It’s not “over” for your entrepreneurial aspirations if you dedicate a few hours a week to dating. Your mental health will be a lot better if you do.
A lot of men romanticise the idea of “monk mode” because it allows them to run from their social problems.
This isn’t the path to happiness, even if the GaryVee grind makes you a million bucks. You’ll still have a lot of issues with the opposite sex to figure out afterwards.
That’s why you’re better off working on your social skills now. That’ll make you a lot happier and healthier. It’ll be far easier to succeed financially at that point.
Plus, this way, you won’t have to wait until your mid-30s to touch a woman.
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If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your confident masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Iyuza Mingazova on Unsplash