Question: My husband and I differ completely on finances in the household. He wants me to ask him about money, but I refuse as I’ve been told time and time again that the biggest fight between couples is money. I don’t want to know how he spends his money because then I’m going to have an opinion about it! He doesn’t get it, what am I not explaining write to him? I don’t want to talk about money with my husband!
Answer: Thank you for your honesty that you don’t want to talk about money with your husband… yet what if the biggest fight between couples is about money BECAUSE they don’t talk about it!? Because they don’t (know how to?) create a deal that works for everybody?
When you avoid something long enough, it’s guaranteed to blow up in your face… you’e heard the saying, What you resist, persists, yes? So I would definitely recommend having courage and looking your fears in the face and learning to have an adult conversation with your husband about money. I personally think you having an opinion about how he spends his money is a healthy thing! Not to be controlling, but to learn allowance of his choices, allowance of your choices and healthy medium for your joint spending habits. You being in avoidance or oblivious to money makes you disempowered.
Don’t you want to know what he spends, what he saves, what your retirement looks like, how much he brings in? I get that not knowing allows you to not have to divulge how you spend your money either… is that also what this is about… you don’t want to have to be on a budget or deal with his questioning?
I think this conversation with your husband is going to help mature your relationship and strengthen it. However, it might be uncomfortable until it becomes workable… yet the sooner you get comfortable with discomfort, the stronger and healthier YOU and your marriage will be. Sit in the fire, my sweet!
What if there was a joint account that handled all the bills? What if you had your own money to spend and he had his own money to spend so you didn’t have to nitpick each other? What if you each had freedom, but you also knew that your foundation was solid and your future was handled? You might have to learn to delay gratification, yet you might learn that you have an excess of your net operating income in the business and that you need to spend by the end of the year so you don’t get overly taxed on it! Shopping spree! Whoohoo!
Money used to scare me to be quite honest… now I quite love it and enjoy figuring challenges out. I am tremendously more empowered as a businesswoman and love the relationship I have with money! I’m in intimacy expert and most people automatically think that means sex with another person… But intimacy is all about vulnerability, honesty, truth and a willingness to sit in the fire and not run away when things get uncomfortable… instead to stay connected with your heart open in non-judgment and Oneness.
If you can do this with your husband… My word, that will strengthen your marriage for a lifetime!
And if you can do that with money… The two of you will be very responsible and wealthy and generous 🙂
I’m not sure how much you’ve learned about the work I do, yet you can go to my site for women www.AllanaPratt.com and sign up for my complementary training called “Vulnerability is the New Sexy.” Invite your husband to go to my site and then called www.GetHerToSayYes.com for my complementary men’s training called “How to be a Noble Badass.”
Every healthy thriving couple I know at some point has gone through couples counseling or spiritual coaching. I believe couples come together to grow and evolve. Sometimes that isn’t easy or graceful and so spiritual counseling is the ticket!
It’s pennies on the dollar compared to the financial cost of a divorce let alone the emotional devastation and destruction of families… So I would highly recommend the two of you engage in a series of six empowering sessions with me so that we can learn to embrace money, talk about money, honor money and grow money…. so that we can honor and grow your delicious relationship!
Simply go to www.allanapratt.com/connect to apply for a complementary strategy session with me where we will discuss if you’re a fit to work with me 🙂
In closing, your concern to rock the boat is actually a fear you’re already manifesting my love. I encourage you to face your fear and move through the fire together It’s time to rise above this with my support so that you are empowered around money, so that your husband respects you more and so that the two of you have a greater intimacy and an even more solid bottom line 🙂 Massive love 🙂 XO XO Allana
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com