I was a big fan of the Good Men Project before I became a contributor. I have always appreciated how GMP deals with men’s issues on an elevated, intelligent level. And one of the biggest sources of pride for me this year has been being asked to become a weekly contributor here.
Those words I just quoted appeared in an article that just blew my mind this past week. Why More Men Need to be Life Coaches by John Kim really spoke to me on a deep level because, well, it’s my story.
It’s story time with Coach Ryan
I am quite proud of my intellect (he says without any irony whatsoever.) My intellect has gotten me out of many jams in my life. It’s blessed me with the ability to put words together powerfully. It’s blessed me with a good sense of humor. And I’m grateful for it all.
This leads me into my biggest takeaway from Kim’s amazing article.
Most men tend to be reactors and fixers. We see a problem, we propose a fix, and we execute a fix.
We see the saber-toothed tiger outside our cave. We grab our spear. And we protect our families.
See my point? Men now are so much more than just the protectors of the cave.
I hesitate to even bring this up, but I believe I need to.
My Dad passed away in December of 2014 – not quite two years ago. In many ways, Dad was my best friend.
I needed a best friend; especially after my mom passed. But even as a grown man, I needed my Dad. And I have to say, he had a bad tendency to be emotionally distant. Lord knows he self-medicated those emotions enough to make that happen.
But even as a kid, he was more of a best friend than a Dad. Like whenever I’d get into a bind, he’d immediately propose a fix to a problem that may or may not exist.
So often, we don’t teach our sons to simply be.
There’s an interesting word – “be”.
That has been the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year while in the Accomplishment Coaching coach training program. I’ve developed an ability to “be with” the ups and downs that life has to offer. To be with the strong emotions and get supported so that I can get through them and get through to the other side.
When I first made the decision to become a coach, I saw way more women than men as successful coaches. I mean, men other than Tony Robbins, that is.
And this plays out on my AC team. I’m one of only a few men on my relatively small team. And many of the ladies on my team specialize in working with and empowering women.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this! I adore powerful, empowered women.
But my wish is that more men embrace this work. Either working with a coach or becoming a coach themselves.
I firmly believe that if more men leaned into being responders instead of being reactors, our lives would be a lot better. Our lives would flow a lot easier. We’d be better sons, brothers, friends, boyfriends, husbands, and dads.
We’d be better leaders.
Speaking of Accomplishment Coaching, we have training programs across North America starting early in 2017. From New York to British Columbia, see what the world’s finest coach training program can do for you.
Connect with me and I can answer any questions you might have.
Either working with me as a potential client, or as a colleague, or even if this story really landed for you, I’d love to hear from you. Here’s how to connect:
- Website: team-ryan.team
- Email: [email protected]
Our work really needs more Y chromosomes. I’d love nothing more than to see more men embrace authenticity and realness to serve the greater good.
I want to thank John Kim for getting this dialogue started. I want to thank AC founder and CEO Christopher McAuliffe (and others) for creating our amazing program.
But most of all, I want to thank all the good men (and women) who read this space every week. Let’s go change the world together.
Photo by Eric Ferdinand