James M Sama reflects on Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s choice of a spouse and posits that truly secure guys know how to appreciate a powerful, independent woman.
The term ‘Trophy Wife’ is familiar to many of us in less-than-flattering contexts. While sometimes it qualifies as a compliment in guy-speak when referring to a man’s beautiful wife, the connotation is that she essentially is just that — a trophy. She is likely young(er than him) and beautiful, but is probably well taken care of by her husband. See also: Arm candy.
A trophy, being a prize, is something to be obtained. It is a symbol of accomplishment to be shown off to friends, but has little other function to it other than just looking pretty.
Perhaps a few decades ago, this was an appealing prospective relationship to be part of, but today’s women are stronger, bolder, better educated, and more independent. They may make just as much as, if not more than, the man in their life. They know what they want, and what they don’t want is to just be someone’s trophy.
But this evolution, I feel, has also seen similar progress in the men’s camp. We see A-List celebrities like George Clooney marrying an incredibly successful woman after many thought he would be an eternal bachelor. At 53 years old, it was not a ‘trophy wife’ who settled down one of the world’s most eligible men, but a woman who rivals, and in some ways even surpasses his success.
Similarly, just recently Hollywood actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt married Tasha McCauley. Not an actress, not a model, not a singer, but co-founder and CEO of Fellow Robots, a robotics company based at NASA Research Park in Silicon Valley, California.
I believe men are understanding that a beautiful face means nothing without a beautiful heart and a beautiful mind. Good, mature, established men are recognizing the value of having a teammate in life. Someone he can take on the world with. Someone he can share ideas and discuss the world with. Someone who can stand on her own and is with him because she wants him, not because she needs him.
Perhaps there was a day when attending an event with a beautiful woman who would stay by your side during the whole evening and look beautiful was the ultimate aspiration of the successful man, but no more. Today, men want a woman who can arrest the room equally with her intelligence as she would with her beauty. A woman who will others marvel at her opinions and ideas rather than just her looks. A woman who he could walk away from while he goes for another drink and be confident that she will be able to hold her own.
While beauty will never cease to be appreciated, it cannot stand on its own two legs (no matter how great those legs might be). To keep the attention of today’s men, it needs to be supported by substance. Depth. Passion. Curiosity. A strong, independent mind.
A strong, confident man will want to be one half of a power couple, not some sort of dictatorship. A confident man secure in himself is attracted to women with equal confidence. Only insecure men need a woman who relies on him and doubts herown personal power.
Are there men out there who do not want to be challenged? Who want to be in control? Who want their wives to spend their time in the kitchen while he goes out to be the breadwinner? Sure, of course. There are all types of men and women in the world, but the trends are shifting.
Fewer and fewer men are being satisfied with this type of arrangement and want someone who will walk beside them on a journey they will share together. I know I do.
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Photo credit: AP / Andrew Medichini