Living abroad doesn’t have to mean your kids can’t experience the happiest parts of your childhood back home.
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When I moved from Los Angeles to Hong Kong, I didn’t know I would have two boys here and stay for almost eight years. I love being dad to my boys, and like most dads, I want to give my kids the same things I enjoyed as a kid. But I live on the other side of the planet, in a busy, dense city with a different language and culture.
The forests, little league games and local festivals I loved just aren’t the same here.
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The forests, little league games and local festivals I loved just aren’t the same here. Even so, with a bit of reflection and creativity, I’ve found ways to give my boys some of my favorite childhood memories. Here are three steps to give your kids the things you enjoyed as a kid while living abroad.
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Make a list– Before you say this is obvious, most of us don’t spend our days reminiscing. So childhood memories only come up when prompted by specific things: the smell of a barbecue, the sound of fireworks, the feel of the sun at a sporting event, etc. The list is important because some of these experiences will take some time to recreate, so a longer list gives you more options when you’re planning your next weekend. To fill up the list, think about it from different angles. What did you enjoy doing with your parents, or just your dad or mom? What did you do with siblings or neighbor kids? What games did you play on your own? What did you like to watch or read?
N.Y.’s Niagara County Peach Festival and the Los Angeles County Fair just don’t exist in Hong Kong..
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Understand what each means– One reason expats get frustrated living abroad is when they look for exact replicas of the things they enjoyed at home. N.Y.’s Niagara County Peach Festival and the Los Angeles County Fair just don’t exist in Hong Kong. However, there are events and experiences that feel like those did. For each of the items on your list of childhood memories, think about what each meant to you and what it let you do.
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Let’s look at a few examples. Little league was about learning to play baseball, but it was also about learning teamwork, making friends and being outdoors. Maybe a youth rugby league or a basketball team could give your kids similar things. My dad used to take my brother and I to a greasy spoon diner for breakfast once a week, and I always loved the banter with the short order cook, the men discussing sports or politics and the experience of being in my dad’s world. That’s why each week, I take my boys out to breakfast in a local no-frills cafe that serves Hong Kong specialties. My boys watch the news on the TV, listen to the banter between the waitresses and get those essential introductions to adulthood.
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For some of the experiences you want to share with your children, you won’t have a local equivalent..
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Be Creative– Every dad can tell you plans for your kids don’t always work. For some of the experiences you want to share with your children, you won’t have a local equivalent. These are the moments where you need to be creative. Using what you jotted down about what each experience meant, ask other parents or co-workers for ideas. Browse through the parenting magazines in your kids’ doctor’s office. Google it, and see what comes up. In the end, this is about time with your kids and shared memories.
As you find new ways to re-create your old favorites, you may also find yourself making new traditions that your kids will one share with your grandchildren.
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Photo: Flickr/Viswanath Duvvuri
Way late on this…I scroll through my like 12 Twitter buddies (which probably isn’t even what they’re called) like every 6 months. Anyway, stumbled on this. Very good article. I’m not a dad, obviously, but I have lived abroad with small children. The challenges are unique. Hope you’re well. Oh, and your Mets are making a run at it. Yay for you 🙂