What if… imposter syndrome is a way to teach your body whom you are becoming?
At the beginning of November, I received the WEF (Women’s Economic Forum) awards in the Excellence in Entrepreneurship category in a special event held by the WICCI association in Malta.
The award celebration was lovely. Great food, good company and interesting conversations with others receiving awards for their work.
Noticing my boxed-based mindset
I think it’s safe to say that in the weeks leading up to this event, I started to notice some disbelief in it. The organizers were planning the event differently than what I’m used to. As a result, my boxed-based mindset started to kick in.
I was judging things from my previous experience. In my mind (and, of course, only in my mind), I had completely different expectations of what an event should look like, be experienced etc.
Pondering over that inner judgement of mine, I realised that once more, all that was happening was that my mind was used to doing things differently than the organiser was planning…that was all!
That awareness changed my expectation and intention.
When I became aware of that, I understood I had put an event of this kind into one particular box — the Award Ceremony Box. I had a very different expectation of what was supposed to be in that box than the experience that I was experiencing. Knowing that all that had happened was my box-based mindset, I could do something about it.
Yes, that awareness gave me space to decide what I intended for the evening and what I wanted this evening to be for me.
I set one clear intention for the evening: to ENJOY!
All I wanted to do was to enjoy that journey.
With a clear intention to not expect anything, just experience, enjoy and go with the flow, I headed out to the restaurant where the award ceremony took place.
Little did I know what would be waiting for me.
When the two presenters who handed out the awards this night called my name and handed me the special recognition, I noticed that I was being awarded in the category of Excellence in Entrepreneurship! This was a surprise, as the original letter that informed me about the award was WEF Highest International WICCI Award 2022, with nothing about Excellence in Entrepreneurship.
Right then and there. A new and very unfamiliar feeling burst through my veins. I could feel discomfort flooding me as I looked at the document with my name on it.
WHAT?! I thought to myself. Why am I receiving this award? Excellence in Entrepreneurship! — Are you kidding me… yes, these thoughts and tons of others rushed into my mind.
For a split second, I thought they got the wrong Runa Magnusdottir in front of them.
Then I heard one of the presenters ask me: Please tell us about you and why this award is important to you.
Trying to keep a straight face, my answer blurbed out: “I’m honoured and grateful for this award; however, this award goes to the people who dare to challenge the status quo. People who are unafraid to step out of their comfort zone challenge the social conditioning placed on them from birth. People who are building a meaningful business. A business is driven by passion and purpose. In that way, they are becoming the change they want to see in their world. “
In hindsight, I see now I wasn’t accepting this award internally.
Externally I was. My hands picked up the award, but my whole inner system didn’t allow me to accept, enjoy, embrace, rejoice, and celebrate.
Ever noticed you doing something similar?
You might say THANK YOU to a compliment, receiving recognition or something positive coming your way, even after a lifetime of dedicating your life to something. And you might say THANK YOU, but you notice a voice of doubt hanging over you?
Well then, you know what I was going through.
When I went to bed that evening, I could feel my body was uncomfortable accepting this award.
Was I a fraud?
How did I deserve this?
Self-doubt questions like these kept swimming through my mind.
Even more interesting was how I noticed that I didn’t want to discuss this award with anyone or share it.
This was quite the opposite of what I know to be the right thing to do vs feeling right about doing it.
As a personal branding strategist, I know how important it is to share achievements with your network as it builds up your brand. And if I had been my client, I would have encouraged myself to share this award with others. In hindsight, this knowledge was the only reason I went ahead that day to post on social media.
I had to force myself to share a social media post about this.
Noticing all the different emotions that were internally fighting their way was fascinating for me.
In the days that followed, I had a few deep conversations with my dear, trusted friends in the personal development world. These magical people gave me wisdom, tools, and practical tips to deal with this feeling of being an imposter.
I used these excellent tools to dive deeper within myself to overcome this feeling.
Then my friend and fellow change maker, Gido Schimanski, the personal impact coach, sent me a link to an Instagram story. A story where Juliana Garcia talked about the Imposter Syndrome is the universe showing you the future version of yourself.
Or, as Julia says in her Instagram post;
I look at “imposter syndrome” differently than most people…
And I think you’re gonna LOVE this perspective.
It flips everything you have been told about imposter syndrome on its head.
We’ve all been told that feeling like an imposter is a lousy thing…
But is it?
Not necessarily…Juliana says
To Juliana, it means:
“I’m on the right track.”
“I’m aligning with my future self.”
…..ahhhhh, I thought, “I’m aligning with my future self.”
Now, that felt more right within me. I’ve been an entrepreneur most of my adult life, and I’ve done some crazy things during these times. I’ve run a wholesale business and founded and created a global online community for women entrepreneurs. I’ve co-created a personal branding boutique program that received special EU awards and put together a group of change-makers. These people are committed to supporting leaders to become the change they want to see in their lives.
Seeing the combination of my past experiences and achievements linked with my future vision of me finally gave my body peace of mind.
The discomfort was only part of teaching my body and system to get used to what was coming my way. And that insight was enough for me.
So my friend, if you ever feel like an imposter.
Embrace yourself;
Remember, feeling like an imposter; you are being shown the future version of yourself combined with things you’ve done in your past. So keep going, doing what you can do best, in the best way that you can do it!
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Previously Published on Medium
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