For most of my life, I have suffered from self-destructive beliefs in silence. The second my conscious mind is awake, the storm begins, never leaving me a moment of peace to consolidate my thoughts and feelings.
It won’t be long before it begins to suck in anything positive, only to throw it back out twisted and skewed into the vilest opinions of myself. It is painful, difficult even to lift off from my bed, but what we think and believe about ourselves, the world, and our life has a powerful impact on our everyday existence.
But, harm reduction strategies were what helped get me to the point where I’ve been able to examine this process with clarity and see why it happens. Then I have conceded to use positive things to get positive results, even if the situation is bad. Then I was able to change, but it was a slow process.
Review this list of unhelpful thoughts to see if any of them are familiar to you. If so, vow now to recognize when you’re thinking in these ways so you can replace negative, irrational thoughts with more positive, realistic ones.
1. I’m a failure in my life.
Hunkered down in crowded spaces, you convince yourself that people are staring at you, but how can you continue to move forward and work towards accomplishing what you want if you believe this statement? Thinking in these terms, quite simply, relieves you of making any efforts whatsoever toward what you want.
Discard this thought right now. Replace it with a more positive concept like, “By day and night I’m being a successful man/woman, I’m becoming mentally and psychically strong.” You may not believe it right now, in the swirling, destructive chaos of your mind, but you can banish the tornado forever and rebuild your shattered ego.
“I will no longer mutilate and destroy myself to find a secret behind the ruins.”
― Hermann Hess
2. I’m ugly; no one cares about me.
Being detached from your young peers, silently asking yourself why they would possibly want to spend any time with you at all. You know that the person they are close to befriending was someone they met a lifetime ago. But now, failure has overtaken you, and that person has disappeared, you have nothing positive to say, no stories of success that you believe to be true, but you feel you must convince them anyway.
It’s okay if your hair isn’t perfect or you’re not as tall as you’d like to be. Take an honest look at yourself and notice your strengths, beautiful green eyes or a small waist. If you’ve got characteristics that are changeable that you’d like to alter through your lifestyle, commit to changing those things. But the point is that everyone finds a partner as long as they’re open to doing so.
3. My life is a disaster.
You have tried your best friend to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones, only to have them thrown back at you with an excuse justifying why they are not. Anything positive that you have to say about yourself is twisted by your mind.
Eventually, you tell yourself that your ego was unjustifiably bloated, and were somehow illusions of grandeur, a privilege that should only be enjoyed by those who deserve it. You do not feel that you are deserving of much.
Remember, you are not small and insignificant. You have the power to change and to overcome. Identify the power you have to create the life that you want. Then use it to construct the life you seek.
“Be led by your talent, not by your self-loathing; those other things you just have to manage.” ― Russell Brand
4. I Can’t do Hard work; I can’t succeed in my life.
Being told that if you work hard, you would be successful, being the best at anything involved sacrifice. You pushed yourself to give your best, and it was expected for you to work hard.
You grew up believing that, with a great deal of effort and endurance, you would be able to excel at anything, and you set out to do. But, when you turned the corner into adulthood, you believed those were admirable qualities blindly. But, your hard work doesn’t define your success, that hard work did not apply to the standard definition of success.
Now the voice in your head tells you that you are not good enough and that it wouldn’t matter if you ceased to exist. You feel like it’s easy to just lose your way on your commute to work, but the thought of losing your job fills you with panic from doing what you care for. You feel like there are so many people around who seem to know more than you ever have, and that they make you feel redundant, useless and replaceable.
But hard work is no longer the achievement or status; it’s about the will to live, the ability to provide those you love, and being able to get through the day in one piece. It’s time you should stop acknowledging your negative thoughts and start working your passion. Commit right now to take steps to do whatever is necessary to obtain the life you seek.
5. Money is the bad devil in my life.
Do not define yourself by how much money you have! Money is simply energy. You have the power to create prosperity and experiences resulting in the blessing of receiving gifts from the Cosmic. But, instead, try digging into the resources of your mind, and you will truly find hidden wealth!
Take a long, hard look at your financial practices. Go see a budget counsellor help you get your bills paid off and, most importantly, to write up a budget that will ensure you’ll save over the years regardless of the amount you earn.
Throw out these old, destructive beliefs and replace them with new, positive, more realistic ways of thinking. You can be successful in life, starting right now!
“Be the flame, not the moth.” ― Giacomo Casanova
You always valued the opinions of others, but you should recognize that your opinion matters too. You must know that success means you have to continue to reach out, that you will need to continue to embrace the transformation that is happening with you.
It doesn’t have to be an endless and tiring mission; You can start by making changes to your daily routines to help you feel a little more cared for and a little more confident. Don’t give up at the first hurdle; convince yourself with the help of everything positive and good in life.
Once you’ve noticed any of these symptoms, you can begin to work on changing them, it won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.
“Take small steps towards overpowering that negative voice in your head. Sending you an abundance of energy, light and hope.”
Previously published on medium
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