After a second threat of cancer, they took their treatment into their own hands and sought a second opinion.
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For more than a year, “Mr. Ballsy” Thomas Cantley featured cancer survivors as part of his campaign of cancer prevention awareness, using #IamBallsy as the hashtag to unite cancer patients and survivors as he spread his positive message.
Here is one of those stories, told anonymously by the wife of the the patient. The opinions expressed are completely her own.
In October 2015, My 23-year-old husband was diagnosed with Non-Seminomas Testicular Cancer.
In a matter of four days, Carl was on the operating table being prepped for his first surgery, an Orchiectomy, this removes the said testicle, or in this case tumor. It all happened so fast leaving us in a total blur of events.
For five short months—five months and 24 days. We lived happily and moved past his “scare” with cancer. Until mid-April. Exactly one week after his 3rd surveillance appointment, we got the call, but not from my husband’s actual Oncologist either.
From the Nurse Practitioner.
The cancer is back, and it’s in his lymph nodes.
After hours of research, and discussing what exactly our options were: nine-week chemo or an extremely invasive abdominal surgery, we came to a conclusion. We decided RPLND surgery would be best. Get it the F out of him. That was the longest five hours of my life.
Mid-June, the nurse practitioner called again. Pathology reports have come back. Three of seven lymph nodes sent for Pathology testing, tested positive for disease. 85% Teratoma, 15% Embryonal Carcinoma. At this point they told us Chemo was an “option” however it was not necessarily needed as they are deeming Carl a “NED” (no evidence of disease). They said surveillance was just as acceptable.
The nurse practitioner said that he would meet with us to discuss everything further; he also informed us that our oncologist, Dr. T— is busy and would only sit in if it was to discuss chemo, however he felt my husband wasn’t very “enthusiastic” about chemo and that he really wasn’t needed.
Wrong. Please, someone, anyone, that has ever been enthusiastic about chemotherapy, please reach out to me. How dare him. Enthusiastic?
Let me tell you this. If—God forbid any of these readers are diagnosed with any form of cancer— not on this green Earth are you going to be enthusiastic about chemotherapy. If chemotherapy is needed, people will do what’s NEEDED to save their life, however, when you are being told by an absent doctor with God-like complexes that it’s your own decision as to whether you do chemo or not, you will not be swinging from the chandeliers with excitement.
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Enter Mr. Ballsy: not only did he take us under his wing the moment I reached out to him, he has become an amazing support system and friend. I vented to him about our situation and without hesitation he gave me the names of amazing Testes Specialist to get a second opinion from.
Present day:
I contacted a Surgeon based locally, one of the best. We just wanted someone else’s opinion. Speaking with this surgeon’s assistant, she was amazing. She told me what was needed to get the ball rolling. I took it upon myself to email the Doctor with a brief synopsis of the situation.
Hubby received a voicemail from Dr. T—, the amazing, compassionate, understanding, and supportive oncologist (insert sarcasm tone here).
Dr. T— began to say that there is a “proper” way of getting a second opinion and what we did by requesting a second opinion was inappropriate. He asked for someone to call him back. Oh so you cannot attend our scheduled appointments because you are extremely busy, but you can wait for a phone call to ream someone out? My husband showed me the voicemail so I called Dr. T— back. He refused to speak to me, the coward. Hubby called back. Needless to say we were told we were “disrespectful,” “inappropriate,” and could get ourselves into a lot of trouble for doing what we did. Good grief, you’d think we committed a felony!
He was ignorant, snappy, and downright rude. He even made reference to legal medical action.
We had our hands slapped for self-advocating. For taking his health into our own hands, and for trying to make the most educated and informed decision as possible. Not only has this man been absent for the majority of my husband’s cancer diagnosis, appointments and follow up, he has not been forthcoming with medical information and has acted with an arrogance and righteousness.
Dr. T—, in our opinion, is an insecure doctor with a narcissistic personality. He lashed out when he felt that he was backed into a corner. He was caught off-guard. To put the icing on the cake, he used his background and profession as a crutch to give himself the entitlement of calling us and attempting to punish us for actions that did no wrong.
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We may be young, and God knows we are not well-versed in the medical field but we are not stupid. We are not punks who are willing to be talked down to just because of our age. That man has no right to stereotype us or lash out towards a young couple that is trying to take this diagnosis and learn as much as we can.
Remember folks, not every doctor who has a PhD or MD is a good doctor. You must find trust and respect in your doctor. Sometimes people don’t mesh well with one another, and that is totally okay. It is okay to seek second opinion. Please do not let someone tell you otherwise. Do not let anyone, especially a medical professional shame you into thinking you have done something wrong for taking your life in your own hands. Do I respect medical professionals? Absolutely. Do I respect what they do and that they spent years obtaining certificates and degrees? Absolutely. But one thing I will say is that just because these people are medical professionals does not give them the right to talk down to you, shame you, or make you feel uncomfortable in any way.
You have every right to ask questions, seek opinions, contact other doctors, and take your health into your own hands.
For those of you reading this, you need to know the importance of self-advocacy, knowing your body, and doing what’s best for YOU.
“Entitlement is a delusion built on self-centredness and arrogance.”
Regards,
An overbearing, overly sensitive, distraught, caring, and completely in-love Wife
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Photo: Getty Images
Read Thomas Cantley, Dr. P, and more #IamBallsy stories every week here on The Good Men Project!
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