When I realized I was surrounded by alpha males and their allure was contrasted in the sly sigma and gamma males I dated for a time I took two steps back to observe their cleverness to realize my understanding of men is all wrong. All men are not bad. All men are not rough, womanizers, and inconsiderate of women’s feelings. Just the certain types of Latin men that I have been talking to are really like that and here is why.
When I found out that alpha males have a tendency that makes them alluring to naïve girls like myself their allure wasn’t so strong anymore. They have habits that they pursue to make them that way and there is no changing someone if that is their nature. They are confident, headstrong, leaders, sexy, and opinionated. Once they are decided it is only their way or the highway. They may love you but not in the way you need. If that is your family you just love them for who they are and ignore them because you should never turn your back on family.
In my experience, an alpha male can turn into a wounded Delta who is a grumpy old man without any friends because of the past traumas he experienced in life. His hurt is reflected in his remorse for the bad decisions he made that were none other than his own fault and now he has to live with the consequences of his bad choices. His loved ones take the heat of his fiery temper as they have to interact with him as a family member whether consciously or subconsciously and it affects them if they don’t have the right people skills to ignore him and care for him. He is not easy to love but he still values a good conversation and the open friendship with those who understand his hurt.
An omega is the same way as the Delta but a little less hurt. He is happy living an independent life with his variety of interests apart form the crowd. He is a little nerdy and super intelligent but probably not so willing to open himself to a relationship where he cares for others. He is like the knight on the chess board that goes alone where as the Alpha, Sigma, and Gamma have their own sexy allure. The Omega doesn’t really want a princess to go saving because he is the protagonist of his own story and he is happy that way.
Gammas are another breed apart from Sigmas. They are both leaders in their own way and if there is no Alpha malepresent they would gladly stand up as the leader of the group if they had to eventhough they would rather not take the lead. Sigmas are observant and their allure is from “maniuplation tactics” that I realized very closely parallel the psychology tactics my ex-fiance taught me when we were so in love. They think before speaking and would rather let other people speak up in an effort to let them learn instead of making themselves stand out in the crowd as a know it all.
The use of reverse psychology is played into practice to get people to do what they want. Their scarcity makes them all the more attractive to lovers as their mystery plays on the heartstrings of the girls that stand in line waiting for his phone call.
I saw some of these characteristics reflected in other types of men similar to him as well and caught on to the pattern of their allure. Their mystery wasn’t so mysterious anymore. The smolder in their eyes that seeth in fiery smoke of appeal that make the Latin men I love ooze sexiness is really just an awareness of self and others surrounding them.
This mental awareness spurs them into solitude for periods of time where you do not hear from them for days and weeks because they are busy calculating their next move. This is a reverse psychology tactic that is called scarcity which makes people addicted to you as the person affirms you with love and disappears to make you attached. A lot of Latin men do this and come back to love you like nothing as ever happened. Their use of reverse psychology makes their absence speak louder than words because he is actually calculating his next move to see where he can actually benefit not only for himself but for those he is also looking out for.
People both young and old flock to Sigmas to confide in them for a word of wisdom or a trusty favor because they have the heart to help them if they are actually willing. My ex Sigma fiancé’s sensitivity and perceptiveness is what made me fall in love with him and it is something I haven’t seen reflected in others besides a Gamma.
A Gamma is a little bit of every personality in one. His awareness makes him likeable as well. He is not as elevated as a Sigma depending on his faith in himself and God or whatever he calls his higher power. He is still caring, perceptive, and thoughtful and uses acts of service to make his community better. I read online that an Alpha male could turn into a Gamma making him more likable and I can see why. I never really got too close to many Gammas because even though I liked him I didn’t know what he was until I recently became curious in the type of Alphamales that I’ve come in contact with as a Hispanic heritage female.
I don’t see myself as a Beta even though I like to avoid conflict. I’m probably a Delta healing into a Gamma because my short temper is a reflection of the type of stressful people I keep dealing with. I am in fact a calm person. I keep telling myself I am not this. The fiery nature is an inheritance I am ashamed of relinquishing when certain personality types stress me out. Eventually, I just block people out and wonder what type of God would throw me into a ring of people I’m not ready to get along with.
I guess it’s just the cards I’ve been dealt with and with all the love I have left — maybe I just needed to see love in a man — or some men who know a little better who use psychology instead of bronze muscle to win an argument to woe over anyone. Whether romantically or platonically. It is better to use our words with kindness instead of blunt words that hurt like sticks and stones. I’ve that learned hurt people hurt people. Happy people don’t hurt other people. They heal them. I can only heal myself first to help others if I want to welcome a new cycle of relationships in life. I’m officially under construction.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Dollar Gill on Unsplash
