Fred Phelps led an army of haters, but Jacob Nordby shows how he revealed something important about making the world a better place.
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Fred Phelps is dead. In case you haven’t seen his name before, he was the extreme Baptist minister who led a mob of hateful, angry people to picket the gravesides of soldiers and stand on street corners holding signs proclaiming that “God Hates Fags“.
In our polarized country, it is hard to find a more radical case of religious bigotry than this man who founded the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.
Famous Star Trek actor and openly gay social activist, George Takei, made a powerful statement yesterday after learning that Fred Phelps is lying on a bed near the brink of death:
“I take no solace or joy in this man’s passing. We will not dance upon his grave, nor stand vigil at his funeral holding “God Hates Fred” signs, tempting as it may be. He was a tormented soul, who tormented so many. Hate never wins out in the end. It instead goes always to its lonely, dusty end.”
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Mr. Phelps has whipped America into a frenzy of hatred. Many have joined his causes, raging against what they see as the erosion of Christian values. Others have formed ranks against him and his clan, flinging epithets across the no-man’s-land which separates them.
In Takei’s words, I find the great lesson Fred Phelps has unwittingly worked so hard to illustrate.
There are two forces in our world, fear and love. We will never drive out fear and hatred with more of the same.
Oddly enough, in the very book Fred Phelps claimed to defend, you can read these words:
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18
It is difficult to see how a man who believed so strongly in his Bible can ignore what is its most important message.
Perfect love casts out fear. Everything Fred Phelps led his group to do is drenched in fear. There is no fear in love.
In the crazed messages his followers spread, there is little but fear–fear of anything which falls outside their beliefs, fear of destruction at the hands of groups like Jewish people, gay people or liberal people.
We love to hate the Hitlers and Fred Phelps’s of the world, but they are only reflections of what lies in the collective unconscious. When we all see ourselves in this mirror, we can learn a better way. We can learn love.
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It is hard to stand by and watch this small but vocal army of haters waving signs which insult the freedom of choice we hold dear. They seem to do nothing but inflame an already wounded nation into more conflict.
Having said that, I believe that the Westboro Baptists and their dead leader are serving a vital purpose in our world. They are showing us in vivid color exactly why repression, violence and fear no longer work. They are demonstrating exactly why it has become imperative that we stop drawing lines in the sand and screaming at each other.
We can thank them for bringing to the surface all those unsaid words and feelings. Once expressed, they allow us all to stand back in horror at the potential for fear in ourselves–and the kind of destructive, violent reactions these things bring forth in moments of darkness.
We love to hate the Hitlers and Fred Phelps’s of the world, but they are only reflections of what lies in the collective unconscious. When we all see ourselves in this mirror, we can learn a better way. We can learn love.
We owe thanks to the open-hearted leaders like George Takei for seeing beyond what could be taken as personal attacks and offering instead a gift of compassion rather than hatred.
Can we do this, humanity? Can we put down our weapons and choose something different for ourselves?
If we can, the world will be a better place.
How we respond (or react) to the eventual death of this leader is an excellent test of whether we can or not.
We have Fred Phelps to thank for serving up such a stark and worthy trial of our ideals.
Fred Phelps died at age 84 before midnight on Wednesday, March 20, 2014.
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I’ve found that people who are mean and hateful are concealing a very deep pain and fear that goes to the core of their being. We can’t know where Fred Phelps’ fear came from, but it was obviously coming from very deep inside. Perhaps he was molested as a child, or saw something that warped his view of all people. Perhaps he had a sexual experience as a young boy, with another boy or man, that made him feel ashamed, or even brought up a desire to be homosexual, and skewed his perceptions of sexuality for life. We just don’t… Read more »
You read my mind, Melinda
I have wondered exactly the same thing. Thanks for sharing that here!
George Takei is a far bigger man than I am. The first thought that came into my head when I heard this? An old irish joke, Two irishmen at the bar were making a pact. the first one says “If I should die before you , would you be so kind as to pour a quart of good Irish Whiskey on my grave?” The second Irishmen thinks about it and says “Would you mind if it passed through my kidneys first?” HEY FRED! HERE’S A PINT OF GUINNESS, JUST FOR YOU!
hahaha, Bobbt
I missed out on Guinness yesterday. You just made me thirsty.
Slainte!
Excellent, wise and deeply profound. If (#1) the original creation source that produced all mannerisms of Time-Space and Energy of this Cosmos (regardless of who, what or why we are insistent on assigning Her, Him, or They a name) and if (#2) That source was love, then guess what this entire living experience is about. If cats produce cats, and strawberries create strawberries then guess what love creates. Quantum Physicists for a very long time now have been telling us that its “Consciousness that Collapses the Waveform of Infinite Possibilities” presumably from the Zero Point Field. If they are correct… Read more »
I love this line, Lawrence:
You said…
“Some truly believe that “all the world’s a stage” … and we not only agreed to take on these rolls but we also helped in writing the script. I am my own villain, my own victim and my own hero wondering when it’s my time to enter stage right.”
Now’s our time to enter. Now is our time to embody. Thanks for being here!
I also think that Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church served a purpose in that they showed many of us how close we actually are in ideology. Sensible people on both the right and the left rejected his hate-mongering and rallied behind those he bullied. Consider all the groups who gathered to counter-protest and offer themselves as human shields for his victims: everyone from Hell’s Angels to veteran’s groups, GSA organizations to mainline churches. His philosophy of evil highlighted the good in so many of us, and that means that he will die a failure in what he hoped… Read more »
that’s a fascinating point, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing it.
A fantastic piece, Jacob. The bigger message here is that we all carry some of Fred’s contentious fearful spirit in ourselves. The only way to fight him is through kindness to those around us. We will win. We will.
Mark,
Thank you. Yes!
Fred Phelps was a petty little man seeking attention, nothing more. He is not worthy of hate, only
indifference. He will eventually be forgotten or at best become a joke.
Wes,
Thanks for weighing in.
I agree that all of this will fade as caricatured hatred should.
I also feel strongly that we have an opportunity to use this for evolution.
I completely disagree with the statement, “petty little man seeking attention, nothing more. He is not worthy of hate, only indifference. He will eventually be forgotten or at best become a joke.” I imagine Fred Phelps would use a similar description of a “fag” on his death bed. Also, Mr. Phelps will never be forgotten or become a joke to his family regardless of how he treated them. Would it not be more productive to show compassion for them and hope that they find peace? No amount of ill-will or anger towards Mr. Phelps will make him any more miserable… Read more »