Our uncomfortable feelings are what we want to conquer in our internal struggle for recognition, so we turn them outward onto the mass collective.
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It’s been said that our boys are crying bullets instead of tears.
What I do see is the material manifestation of humanity’s fear of losing control, cloaked in the full metal jacket of protection.
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If you’re looking for statistical analysis of how many school shootings have occurred in the past two decades, how many triggers were pulled by young men 26-years-old and under, or an overview of their family and medical histories, genetic predispositions or how gun control can stop the violence from happening, you might want to exit this article now, because that isn’t what I’m going to give you.
Let me explain; I don’t buy into numerical summaries as a means to either understand, or end, the pain of humanity. Nor do I see bullets, guns, or the people that use them as evil.
What I do see is the material manifestation of humanity’s fear of losing control, cloaked in the full metal jacket of protection.
This protection has as many stories tied to it as the mind can imagine.
For some it’s the tale of patriotism, activism, or religion. For others it’s about passion, civilization, and transgression.
Throughout human history, people have resorted to acting out their unresolved emotional angst through behaviours aimed at controlling circumstances, outside of themselves.
Why reveal how unlovable, small and incapable we feel when we can be the big man on campus instead? That is what our culture deems we aspire to in order to be seen as successful and noteworthy isn’t it?
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We’ve been taught from square one that feeling uncomfortable, or ill at ease, is not a favorable state and one which we are to subdue, through whatever means possible, that which is the perceivable cause of our discomfort.
Whether the supposed cause of our suffering is our partner, children, weedy front lawn, that country across the globe, or our misunderstood emotions, matters not. What does matter is that if it causes us, or someone we love, any pain at all, it must be stopped.
As a result, we end up being controlled by the very things we’ve set out to set straight.
We pander to our partners while complaining that we feel like unappreciated doormats.
We hinge our identities on our children’s accomplishments and feel like failures when they fall short of our expectations.
We feed the lie of perfection by spraying chemicals on our yards and find ourselves twisted up in knots at the sight of every dandelion that shouldn’t be there.
We rage against countries we’ve never seen, and cultures we don’t understand, with our civilized bombs of conformity and can’t comprehend why we’re still so scared.
We run, we hide, and turn a blind eye to what’s driving our emotions and can’t fathom why we’re not feeling happy, healthy, whole and complete. Interestingly our emotions are the core of our torment as well as the path to the missing peace that we seek.
Our uncomfortable feelings are what we want to best in our internal struggle for recognition, so we turn them outward onto the mass collective.
While we may not walk onto a campus or into a house, whip out our blasting, metal control sticks and hit send, we do harm daily to ourselves with our tormenting, and belittling thoughts, of not being enough.
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When we don’t receive the accolades, appreciation, fame, fortune or love that we believe we need, we get hostile, depressed and trapped in the cell of our unmet, and unexpressed needs.
This can breed a sense of failure turned vengeful that often leads to abuse, violence and hurt that regularly gets turned on those we crave recognition from, the most.
All of this becomes a tangled mess of misfired, misdirected emotionally fueled control. By hurting that which has caused us pain, we experience a tasty momentary rush of vengeful retribution. Think of how good it can feel to hang up on someone, or curse at the driver who cut you off on the highway.
The truth is, very few people feel good when they harm another. They may disguise their pain in layers of egoic bravado, but underneath the armour are wounds greater than their mask of indifference implies.
Let’s be real here, why show your helplessness when you can mimic feeling powerful?
What sense does it make to tell them you’re afraid when you’ve been told to, “never let’em see you sweat”?
So what does all of this say about the boys and girls turned men and women who harm, hurt, harass and kill? The same thing is says about you and me.
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reveal how unlovable, small and incapable we feel when we can be the big man on campus instead? That is what our culture deems we aspire to in order to be seen as successful and noteworthy isn’t it?
So what does all of this say about the boys and girls turned men and women who harm, hurt, harass and kill? The same thing is says about you and me.
If we continue to separate our actions from our emotions and the un-investigated stories and beliefs that create them.
If we continue to pretend that we are fine when we’re not.
If we continue to ridicule our selves, or others, when they reveal their underbellies.
If we continue to refuse to wake up and admit that we are far more than a walking lump of flesh born to work, look good, have sex and find happiness at the bottom of a coffee cup or in the screen of our new watch, we can look forward to amplified versions of the same heartbreaking headlines that have inspired these words.
While we may not walk onto a campus or into a house, whip out our blasting, metal control sticks and hit send, we do harm daily to ourselves with our tormenting, and belittling thoughts, of not being enough.
Once we’re saturated in that sickly brew, it acts itself out through us and tells others the same thing in a plethora of unloving, un-supporting and unappreciative ways. All in the name of controlling what we reveal about whom we think we are, or who we’ve been told we should be.
If we want this world to be different then it’s time to face the man (or woman) in the mirror and make that change. Be that change. Live that change. Speak it, act it, breathe it.
This takes work. It also takes great courage and a deep commitment to be the most loving, compassionate version of you that you can imagine.
If we want this world to be different then it’s time to face the man (or woman) in the mirror and make that change. Be that change. Live that change. Speak it, act it, breathe it.
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You’ll know when you’ve leveled-up as an awakening human when another headline comes your way that used to enrage you but now all you can see and feel is compassion, love, and Divine order.
You’ll also remember that we all have the capacity to express anything and you’ll appreciate those who have stepped up and offered themselves as catalysts for transformation for those who still slumber in the gallows of their un-inquired thoughts and wrestle with the lava of their overflowing emotions.
If you need help, like most of us did, and do, go for it.
We are graced at this time on the planet with more teachers, mentors, coaches and guides of awakening than ever before.
When you find something or someone that interests you, please ensure that it is based in assisting you to express your uniquely, loving self. Otherwise it’s just another game of control and we’ve all seen what that can do.
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Photo: Flickr/Robert Agthe