The Christian Bible includes a story about a civilization called Babel, that wanted to build a great tower. The initial construction went so well that the men of Babel came to believe that they were creating a perch in the sky superior to that of God’s in Heaven.
God, who was never at a loss for methods of conveying who was boss to uppity human beings, caused workers on this great edifice to speak different languages. When the workers began the political process of deciding what was to be the primary language of the land, the magnificent tower began to crumble.
“Babel”, became an English idiom for conversation that is crystal clear to one party and incomprehensible to another. The Good Men Project, (GMP) claims to be having “the conversation that no one else is having.” While The Good Men Project endeavors to continue to build their web site, a visit to this virtual edifice can resemble what a construction site tour of the Tower of Babel must have been like.
Whether your version of Babel is of a literal historical place or a mythic parable palace, you will probable find the comparison apt. It would be even more so, if GMP editors and comment moderators didn’t stand guard against some of the less articulate tongues that seek to be heard.
When you go for your GMP website visits listen for the voice of Dr. Joseph Gelfer. Dr. Gelfer speaks in the language of the “Five Stages of Masculinity.” Dr. Gelfer may have made the Rosetta stone for your journey.
“Gelferesee” gives ease to comprehending were various contributors to the GMP tower are coming from. It quiets the pissing contests as to whose voice should be listened to above the din.
Gelfer’s Stages stage respect for all voices. They sharpen the acoustics. They draw out harmonies in previously discordant noise.
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I am being hyperbolic in referring to the GMP website as Babel. The site is highly comprehensible now and with GMP ever seeking to improve it towards facilitating the flow of “The Conversation.” As GMP brings more clear voices into the room, the greater the competition for attention. This increasing competition drives positive survival of the fittest pressures, as well as well as some harshly voiced put downs.
Gelfer’s Stages stage respect for all voices. They sharpen the acoustics. They draw out harmonies in previously discordant noise.
I feel it would be a disservice to attempt to summarize The 5 Stages of Masculinity here. If you are familiar with this work, I would waste you time. If you are not, stop reading this now and go look for definite explanations on www.goodmenproject.com or www.gefner.net. You can even take Gefner’s survey to see what sage your foundation is currently built on.
For me, I was pulled out of Stage One into Stage Two, by finding myself in a situation of supervising feminist social workers, who felt free to offer me a vision, besides blindness, to the impact of my masculinity on others. I saw myself as a “want to be” Profeminist archetype. This archtype crumbled under the ramifications of trying to swage male guilt by wearing a noble mask. I fell into Stage Three and dwelled there until forces, such as reading and writing for GMP, swept me into Stage Four. I really liked it there. Stage Four seemed to leave me no place to go, but Stage Five.
I was swept into Stage Five by a non-dualistic force I do not understand. On this Stage I seek now to lose this “I” and this “understand.” The Stage that is under where I stand now is a magical joyous place. It is a place where the future of men knows no limits. It also respects all beliefs in limits. It is a place where each can speak to each.
It is a Stage where I feel elevated above no other man.
I hope my voice here inspires your curiosity in The Five Stages of Masculinity and the work of Dr. Gefner. I first learned of his work about five hours ago. I have just begun to play.
If you are in the audience today, I hope that you find your way onto your stage before the end of the day.
If my writing reads to you like so much babel, may that assessment lead you to the same place.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Thanks for the kind words David. I like thinking of the five stages as a Rosetta stone: I might use that!