Question: What methods can you suggest to help my girlfriend be more open and forward in communicating? She’s a “fine” person. Nothing’s ever wrong. She’s “fine”. Then I find out days or weeks later from a mutual friend no less, that I’ve messed up.
Answer: What a great question… Well my friend, many things might be at play. Let’s see what resonates with your truth and awareness of you and your girlfriend.
Sometimes people say “I’m fine“ when they’re not… because they grew up in a household or environment where there truth was judged, rejected, made wrong or not allowed. They learned to stuff their truth in order to survive and get love or stop abuse.
Other times people say “I’m fine” because they actually have never taken the time to truly go inside ( Intimacy: into me I see… ) and discover the truth that resides deep inside their heart and soul. Often these people have never been taught how to navigate the intensity of emotions so they just stuff them or avoid them on Facebook. They try to numb them with a glass of wine, avoid them by buying a new purse, feel something more fun to feel so they watch porn.
And other times still, it’s the actual relationship that needs to evolve. By her saying “I’m fine“ it could be an invitation for you to become safer as a listener. Perhaps you unknowingly argue, justify or reason with her, rather than just listen, acknowledge and validate. Most of us don’t need to be agreed with all the time, but it sure as hell feels great to be understood for our own unique experiences, yes?
Let me know if any of these resonate with you because the next step would be to do the inner work to 1: heel from past wounds 2: learn to navigate intense emotions or 3: learn to sit in the fire and stay present with a woman’s emotional storms.
I have good news for you about all of those issues… the timing of your question couldn’t better 😉 I’m about to launch a 30 day challenge this November helping my community remove the blocks to having a soul shaking conscious relationship with themselves and with their beloved!
You can go to www.AllanaPratt.com/30DayChallenge to get access to this complementary Private Facebook community Challenge that no doubt will support you and your girlfriend in connecting more authentically, vulnerably and intimately…
So you no longer have to hear from friends that you “messed up“.
In the meantime while you wait for the challenge to begin, reach out to me again in the Private FB group and do your best to let go of taking things personally, my friend. This issue is an invitation for evolution and intimate connection 🙂
You will get there and I will show you a proven way. It’s my pleasure to support you, all my love, Allana
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com