The Good Men Project

Glory Days: The Wacky Sensibilities of Kobe Bryant

anne ferrel

Kobe Bryant is in the twilight of his career. Like all of us, the older he gets, the better he was.

__

Let’s all start on common ground. Kobe Bryant is the second best shooting guard in the history of the NBA. There is no denying this fact. But Kobe, you need to come to terms with something, you are not and never will be lumped in with Michael Jordan.

Jordan is the GOAT.

He is in a different stratosphere than the rest of us mere mortals. While you may be able to see him from your perch, you are not in the same atmosphere as him. So you need to stop this nonsense of latching yourself to his cape.

It was bad enough you called the greatest basketball player to ever touch a basketball, your muse. A phrase usually reserved in art and commonly associated with women. It’s even worse that after Russell Westbrook’s eye popping 54 points, 9 rebounds and 8 assist night on 43 shots, you felt the need to tweet this:

The answer of course is Michael Jordan.

Jordan does not need you to defend him, or insult him, depending on how you look at it.

His Airness does not see you as an equal.

♦◊♦

Fans can make all the videos they want comparing shots and styles:

But last winter, fivethirtyeight.com posted an article detailing how wide the gap is between Bryant and Jordan. To spare you the click and complicated read of basketball analytics, Jordan is better than Bryant in every statistical category.

Yes, it’s true Bryant is the first player in league history to record 30,000 career points and 6,000 career assists. He also passed Jordan on the all-time scoring list this season.  You did it!  Congrats Kobe!

I guess Kobe has a lot of time on his hands after another season-ending injury.

I guess Bryant’s maniacal competitive nature has him worried people will forget who he is, so he feels the need to remind us of his abilities, however inflated they may be.

I guess it’s not his fault.

In Psychology Today, Ph.D. Loretta G. Bruening equates our animal instinct to that of our need to leave a legacy.

The mammalian limbic system releases happy chemicals when we do things that promote reproductive success. You may not care about reproductive success, but your happy chemicals do. Animals focus on the survival of their DNA without conscious intent thanks to natural selection. Animals just do things that stimulate their happy chemicals and avoid their icky chemicals. Your brain focuses on your legacy without conscious intent because it stimulates your happy chemicals.

Is that it?  Are your happy chemicals depleting because of your inability to dominate on the basketball court? Are you in dire need of another sources of happiness?

If that’s the case, here:

♦◊♦

I guess we should be soft on Kobe, retirement or the threat of hanging ’em up can be tough on anyone.

According to Robert Delamontagne, Ph.D., author of the 2011 book “The Retiring Mind: How to Make the Psychological Transition to Retirment,” retirees experience anxiety, depression and debilitating feelings of loss.

“People can go through hell when they retire and they will never say a word about it, often because they are embarrassed,” Delamontagne says. “The cultural norm for retirement is that you are living the good life.”

I guess we should look at you like our Uncle Bob, nodding our head in agreement while rolling our eyes when your back is turned.

Your continued assault on every sports fan’s intelligence is pretty insulting. Please recognize your place in the NBA animal kingdom.

Your actual legacy should leave you a lot to be happy about. Because your self-image reminds a little of Uncle Rico:

And that’s just sad.

 

—-

Photo Credit: Anne Ferrel/flickr

Join our Good Men Project Sports Facebook Page!
And, if you like that, you might want a daily dose of Good Men Project awesomeness delivered straight to your inbox. Once a day or once a week for Good Men Project, or sign up for our once a week GMP Best of Sports email newsletter, your choice. Join the mailing list here.
Exit mobile version