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I have the same name as an ultra-conservative Mormon woman and it bothers me to no end. As a feminist and professional woman, it is increasingly difficult to be gracious about it.
Before I go any further with this, I should dispense several warnings about this essay. A woman! Her ego! Ambition! Feminism! Equal rights in general! There.
I usually write under my own name. Wilhelmina Jane White is a pseudonym. Wilhelmina was the middle name of my maternal grandmother. White was the maiden name of my paternal grandmother. (I roll my eyes as I type the term maiden name, but that’s a topic for a whole other essay.) Jane is a tribute to Jane from the show Daria. (Well, the season one version of Jane, but, again, that’s a topic for a whole other essay.)
Many, many people in the U.S. have the same (real) last name as me. As a performer and writer, it probably would have been a good idea to change my professional name when I was much younger, but I didn’t think of it and no one advised me to do so. While the internet was a presence when I was growing up, it wasn’t the super power axis point it is now.
While many people have the same full name as me, there is one person who bothers me more than others, both personally and professionally. As a feminist, I feel intensely frustrated sharing a name with an extremely conservative Mormon woman. From here on out I will refer to her as Petunia. I feel that Petunia is a more fitting moniker for her than her actual name.
Petunia regularly preaches via blogging that being a wife and mother are roles that are necessary for a woman to be fulfilled. I believe marriage and parenting can be extraordinary experiences, but I don’t believe they are the defining elements of womanhood. Women don’t have to be wives and/or mothers to be full human beings.
On her blog and public Facebook page, Petunia questions if dinosaurs ever existed, and often writes about avoiding Satan as if Satan were the teenage pothead next door. Petunia recommends looking at pictures of snakes as an activity to stay away from pornography. (Umm…) In the same post about pornography, she quotes someone who wrote about not “petting” a snake. (For real.) She has also defended polygamy, stating that while it might not be for everyone, there is nothing wrong with it. I personally believe that much of Mormonism is made up and cult-like, similar to Scientology.
I am not the first or last person to be irritated to tears by search engines and their incorrect results, but I do feel that my results are exceptionally bad. When you google my name, a Wikipedia entry about me appears. Whoever wrote this entry used many sources and the information is correct. The photo of me on Wikipedia is actually a photo of me. The problem is that in the search results next to the Wikipedia link, there is a large image of Petunia. Underneath this, titles of books we have both written are listed together as if we are one person. I have had two books published by two different presses I have deep respect for. In fact, I still feel a little intimidated by each press. I have also been published in some great publications. I feel lucky as an author.
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Petunia does some self-publishing and some writing for a church group. We both write for adults, but her books are embarrassingly juvenile. One book even has a picture of a glass slipper on the cover and she refers to herself as royalty. I received a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing. I have worked as a writer and editor and have taught writing at colleges and universities. So… Why is there a picture of Petunia next to a Wikipedia entry about me?
Petunia is a stay at home mom. She has participated in Pro-Life rallies which I consider an act against Women’s Rights. I have participated in Writers Resist events. I have protested in various cities for social justice for over ten years. I’ve always fought for what I believe in, but in the Trump era the stakes feel even higher. Petunia is financially supported by her husband. (I don’t think there is anything wrong with this, I just don’t relate to it.) I rely on myself and myself only. I have no other choice. Obviously, The Church of Latter-day “Saints” is a patriarchal system, but further research also reveals a history of racism and prejudice against the LGBT community. Studies have shown that Mormons are consistently the most conservative major religious group in the U.S.
I’m all for people striving to be happy and helpful, but when a woman, especially a woman with the same first and last name as me, encourages finding these qualities through submission, I’m downright uncomfortable.
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Petunia wrote on her blog that she feels her “life didn’t start” until she was married. If I had to grade or edit this statement, I would circle it and write problematic. She blogs about her husband putting on his church clothes and giving her blessings at home. She talks about his “priesthood.” Eww.
I’m all for people striving to be happy and helpful, but when a woman, especially a woman with the same first and last name as me, encourages finding these qualities through submission, I’m downright uncomfortable. Also, if someone is always describing themselves as an “inspiring” person on a personal blog, I feel it’s fair to point out their arrogance.
Petunia is one of many Mormon mommy bloggers in the United States. Perhaps you have read about Ayla, a conservative Mormon, with a blog called Nordic Sunrise. Ayla claims she is not racist yet she promotes what she calls a “white baby challenge.” This white, blonde woman posts so many photos of white, blonde people that I feel unwelcome as a white person with dark hair just looking at the blog. I understand that there are many Mormons who are much more progressive than many of these mommy bloggers, but alt-right Mormons are an undeniable subset of Mormons. One of the biggest problems of the Trump era is that it encourages racism and sexism. I can’t relate to women who think Beyonce is evil. I also don’t understand why they are okay with the corporate machine that is the Disney Princess industry, but not a pop singer. I guess a successful woman is more disturbing to these women than a teen bride.
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I feel that Petunia is encouraging people to confuse us with each other to get more attention (and credibility) for herself. If I were to describe her specific online behavior, it might reveal both of our identities. I will say that when getting advice from people I admire on the issue, they advise me to speak to a lawyer if she goes any further. I have my own website and social media to be clear about my intellectual property. I attempt to mark my territory in the politest way possible while secretly feeling like a jaguar ready to attack. “She probably doesn’t like sharing a name with you either,” says one of my most level-headed friends. “You know this is hilarious, right?” says a more playful friend while I pout earnestly.
I feel as though Donald Trump, Mike Pence, and Paul Ryan would be happy to see many of us (liberal women, poor people, etc.) dead. Now I feel Google and alt-right mommies wouldn’t mind if I vanished as well. Am I overly sensitive about this identity issue because of the current political climate? Somewhat.
If Google didn’t confuse the two of us with each other I would not be fixated on any of this. I feel it is a problem in terms of personal integrity and my professional life. I feel I have more of a right to use this name. It has been my name since I was in my mother’s uterus. It has always been my professional name. It is her married name. She could use both her last names. If I wasn’t a performer turned writer I wouldn’t care about this at all. It is legitimately worrisome to me because these errors could affect my personal and professional reputation, my livelihood, my survival. I might be murdered. Murdered by Google.
Wilhelmina Jane White is a pen name of an American writer born in the eighties. Her girl crush is Karina Longworth. She secretly (or not so secretly) would love to be a bio/faux queen and a drag king.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Petunia, I would like to believe, is even more horrified to be confused with you, and rightly so. To be mistaken for a whiney, self centered, egotistical bitch must certainly be a cross to bear that she didn’t bargain for when she started her blog. She probably wanted to connect with others of her community that believe in the same things that she does, people who are just like her. What a shame that her first amendment rights are not as important as yours! You of all people, that make their living through the written word should damn well respect… Read more »