Well that’s it. My last guest canceled.
One of these years I’m going to have a Christmas party and I’m going to serve only things I find in old magazines. I’m going to serve piping hot Dr. Pepper and Jell-O molds full of slimy stuff and canned meat products garnished with aerosol cheese and colorful marshmallows.
And in the middle of my holiday appetizer table will be a heaping mound of Trim-A-Tree dip in all its pasty glory. My guests will look upon my mighty dip pile with awe, too scared of disturbing its fragile beauty to wedge a Bugle in its side.
One last note: Did you see the last words in that ad? “Happy Holidays!” Either the “War on Christmas” has been going on for forty years, or the recent outcries regarding “happy holidays” are a bunch of nonsense.
I know which I believe is true, and if you disagree with me you can’t have any of my dip.